tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post5218877894034100578..comments2023-09-29T06:00:09.242-05:00Comments on Julie Pippert: Using My Words: Never Let Me Go: Hump Day HmmmJulie Pipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-47489626973401723612007-07-20T13:56:00.000-05:002007-07-20T13:56:00.000-05:00Talking about letting go and letting go really are...Talking about letting go and letting go really are two entirely different things, aren't they? <BR/><BR/>I was struck by Mad's comment. I recognized what she described. It is very similar to what I feel around some members of my family. The conclusion I've come to is that it is like recovery from substance abuse. When you are trying to stay sober, there are some people you cut off contact with because your habit of using with them is too strong of a temptation.<BR/><BR/>When I am around my family, it is like I am an addict who is hanging out with her old party crowd. My uncomfortable insides are me fighting that magnetic pull back into dysfunction. My family hasn't dealt with our history. They tend it pretend it didn't happen.<BR/><BR/>How do I move past The Past when my family is around? Can I without actually letting my family go, a choice I'm not ready to make.<BR/><BR/>Um, er, moving on...<BR/><BR/>The book was fantastic. I think you did a great job of bringing it into this week's Hmm-er.<BR/><BR/>As far as Clare's statement, I think there is something to be said for letting go being a simple decision. I just think that the simple decision is usually followed by a lot of hard work and that there is a lot of "one step forward, two steps back" to it all.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10270726693980247861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-23950452102526162352007-07-19T14:59:00.000-05:002007-07-19T14:59:00.000-05:00Letting go has been huge for me, from the small to...Letting go has been huge for me, from the small to the big stuff. Letting go of the things you can not change is the hardest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-9969963698595748792007-07-19T09:30:00.000-05:002007-07-19T09:30:00.000-05:00Snoskred, you are welcome. I saw your reply, haven...Snoskred, you are welcome. I saw your reply, haven't had a chance to reply back.<BR/><BR/>If you read the book, let us know your thoughts!<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Chani, I had not considered the idea that he had turned humans into the ultimate (ultimately disturbing) consumable---and thus makes a statement about greed and selfishness, to the point that we would consume another human...and yet, this is a theme that has played out in literature and real life countless times. Hmmm<BR/><BR/>I'll have to check into Aloft.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>SM, well hopefully that is good news, LOL. You'll have to let me know.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Mad, wow, tough and deep but good question. Kyla has a good thought. Perhaps it's also in the same vein of what Snoskred wrote about this time: a frustration that someone we care about is stuck in a dysfunctional rut, ignoring opportunities to get out...plus that worry Kyla mentioned. <BR/><BR/>Do you feel the answer on the edge of your mind? Or very elusive?<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Mrs. Chicky, seems to be a common thing. :)<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Christine, you come on down, hon, and I'll loan that and any others to you. :) We've got beaches but err it's monsoon and hurricane season. I'll even make you some sangria.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I agree that it sounded a tad too simple and pat in spots.<BR/><BR/>And glad to find a fellow Kurcinka fan. :)<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Painted Maypole, I hear you! And for me, it's also why do I continue to perceive myself in old, unproductive ways? Project that image onto others, too? I don't know. I did like something Jen said about we will let it go when we've gotten what we need to from it. I wonder if it helps to reframe it as "I'm still using this" rather than "I failed to let this go." I'm such a one for the self-criticism.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Paige and Flutter, let me know if you read it and what you think.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Jen, it was intense, yeah, and I agree: always a stunning group of posts<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Kyla, it's good to hear others also go for the first half of Clare but not the second. It is amazing, sometimes, how things go in ways that challenge us. Children of course do this, and KayTar with her circumstances...yet, you always seem to keep your perspective.<BR/><BR/>The bye bye thing is a great tool for us. I'm so glad I learned about it.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-14454183316803278782007-07-18T23:52:00.000-05:002007-07-18T23:52:00.000-05:00Mad,Perhaps her inability to let go hinders your o...Mad,<BR/><BR/>Perhaps her inability to let go hinders your own letting go. As long as she is beside you dragging the past along with her, it is following you as well. <BR/><BR/>***<BR/>Julie, <BR/><BR/>I agree with your stance. I agree with the first portion of Clare's reasoning, the fact that letting go doesn't necessarily mean dropping...but I disagree with the second portion. Some things do need to be questioned, to be judged even...from there changes are made.<BR/><BR/>I am not the best at accepting change or letting go. I'm getting better in spite of myself because of KayTar. That child has challenged me to grow in ways I didn't think possible. <BR/><BR/>Oh, and in regards to the children saying "Bye bye (insert item here)!" We simply must do this with KayTar, or she just can't understand. Even then it doesn't always work, but we have curtailed quite a few meltdowns that way. Saying "bye bye!" is one of her favorite past times now.Kylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-87364005442162291012007-07-18T21:35:00.000-05:002007-07-18T21:35:00.000-05:00i read this and felt very similiarly to what you w...i read this and felt very similiarly to what you wrote. i have also read some of the roundup posts and as always, am so impressed.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-39823045093658880872007-07-18T15:51:00.000-05:002007-07-18T15:51:00.000-05:00I might have to read thisI might have to read thisflutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-67960301926760480742007-07-18T15:36:00.000-05:002007-07-18T15:36:00.000-05:00I'm going to have to check out this book. Thanks!I'm going to have to check out this book. Thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-5205051387723867532007-07-18T15:14:00.000-05:002007-07-18T15:14:00.000-05:00interesting. i find I not only have a hard time le...interesting. i find I not only have a hard time letting go of the good things, but also the bad things. Why do I still allow a hurt from years ago affect the way I live today? why can't I let it go?? I want to. But I don't know how. I keep bringing it back. Arg.painted maypolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446625015003854710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-53555490338421160502007-07-18T14:50:00.000-05:002007-07-18T14:50:00.000-05:00I'm very interested in that book now! Care to sha...I'm very interested in that book now! Care to share your copy? LOL<BR/><BR/>As for Kurchinia's book, it also really helped me recognize things about myself that I never acknowledged before. i love that book.<BR/><BR/>Not sure how I feel about Clare's philosophy. The quotes here sounds simplistic, like it is just a simple thing. Like it is a simple decision to let something go. But it never really is that was is it? I agreed with you about how it is ok to invest, but also good to know when it is enough? KWIM?<BR/><BR/> It takes LOTS of transitioning for me too. <BR/><BR/>And, damn, i hold on to LOTS of things. Too many.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662448292809451387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-28803122998116333202007-07-18T13:21:00.000-05:002007-07-18T13:21:00.000-05:00Letting go... Yeah, not very good at that. Of peo...Letting go... Yeah, not very good at that. Of people, of things, of grudges, all of it.Chicky Chicky Babyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18056206889322232109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-8384157288382648942007-07-18T13:14:00.000-05:002007-07-18T13:14:00.000-05:00Julie, I haven't read the book. As for letting go,...Julie, <BR/>I haven't read the book. <BR/><BR/>As for letting go, I've been thinking a lot about this this past week. My sister was visiting. She is a woman governed by all that has happened to her and her lack of control over the past, over people, over situations. Having her visit was exhausting but it was something more, something deeper. I found that the one thing I couldn't let go of was her inability to let go. We each have deeply troubling stances to certain things in our past and yet I move forward despite the past. She cannot. I wish I knew why. I wish I knew why her inability to do so tickled my innards so profoundly.Madhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13416585771017767796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-11079157454726127252007-07-18T11:41:00.000-05:002007-07-18T11:41:00.000-05:00Oh, Chani, Aloft is terrific.Julie, your review ma...Oh, Chani, Aloft is terrific.<BR/><BR/>Julie, your review made me want to order the book today. Thanks for the recommendation.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-84332378950545288262007-07-18T10:46:00.000-05:002007-07-18T10:46:00.000-05:00Julie, I could probably really go out on the deep ...Julie, I could probably really go out on the deep end with the allegory of that book. LOL<BR/><BR/>Your point about choosing is well-taken. <BR/><BR/>How about choice in produce and consume culture.. which is what I think the real allegory is ~ in the book. There is no choice. In western culture, people are bred for productivity. <BR/><BR/>And in essence, he's rebelling against that? Destruction of friendships, destruction of freedom to choose? <BR/><BR/>Peeling another layer, I know.. but it's where my mind is leading me. <BR/><BR/>What do you think? <BR/><BR/>:)<BR/><BR/>Stephen Newton just recommended a book to me called "Aloft" which I'll probably read this weekend. I get the sense that it's the same kind of thing from another perspective. Written by an Asian guy. <BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-24062331679932467752007-07-18T10:31:00.000-05:002007-07-18T10:31:00.000-05:00Thanks for your comment - I replied on my post. ;)...Thanks for your comment - I replied on my post. ;) You weren't too far off. :)<BR/><BR/>I'm going to have to read this book ya'all are talking about!<BR/><BR/>Snoskred <BR/>http://www.snoskred.org/Snoskredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12670406702782244306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-3569234495657569302007-07-18T10:03:00.000-05:002007-07-18T10:03:00.000-05:00WARNING!!! MAY BE SPOILERS RE BOOK IN THIS!!!!!!Ch...WARNING!!! MAY BE SPOILERS RE BOOK IN THIS!!!!!!<BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>Chani, I don't think you're off with the allegory. This what I refer to in my post in two ways (sort of):<BR/><BR/>1. With this, "...perhaps instead it is our issue of trying to understand how a person can be whole when his or her identity is formed through serving another/others."<BR/><BR/>2. mentioning Ishiguro's ongoing theme about how a self interacts with a whole<BR/><BR/>I thought in Remains of the Day he was making clear the point you have.<BR/><BR/>But in this book...it's near impossible to wrap my mind around being okay in any way with creating people meant to die this way...all while I acknowledged we have that currently. I guess it's different from "created for" versus "choose."<BR/><BR/>And that's another Ishiguro hotspot: his characters are so often designed such that they purpose is clearly some form of service, but they do choose this.<BR/>I would like to interview him about this.<BR/><BR/>I have to think about that the book doesn't address that imbalance between individuality and community.<BR/><BR/>That is, I think as you said, the core, and the most complicated point.<BR/><BR/>Somehow I think he did address it.<BR/><BR/>It was Tommy's scream, Ruth's actions. KWIM? Then the end ended as it did because it went from "created to" to "choosing." That's difference between leaving the cottages and being called.<BR/><BR/>I'll have to think further too.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-25841473817122863522007-07-18T09:49:00.000-05:002007-07-18T09:49:00.000-05:00As for the book, I have to admit that I saw it as ...As for the book, I have to admit that I saw it as an allegory .. and I have a habit of doing that. <BR/><BR/>The idea that we are here to serve others in community is not repugnant to me. The idea that we are not fiercely separate little islands unto ourselves is not repugnant. <BR/><BR/>And that is what I felt the core message of the book was about. "We are cogs in a wheel, no individuality." <BR/><BR/>While that may be true in a lot of senses, I felt the book was unbalanced. There needs to be a balance between individuality and community and I didn't believe the book addressed that. <BR/> <BR/>Can you see what I'm saying? Maybe other readers don't see that core message and I'm naturally curious to know. :) <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>I just woke up and haven't even had a sip of coffee yet.. so I'll likely be back, filling up your comment space with more drivel as I think it through. LOL<BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-21105021526865169382007-07-18T09:44:00.000-05:002007-07-18T09:44:00.000-05:00Chani! I have myself on notify for your posts! Of ...Chani! I have myself on notify for your posts! Of course! LOL<BR/><BR/>Will await your reply. :)Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-40866022031849261222007-07-18T09:43:00.000-05:002007-07-18T09:43:00.000-05:00How did you get that post so quickly? I literally ...How did you get that post so quickly? I literally just finished it! :)<BR/><BR/>Okay. Well. My response in the next template. <BR/><BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-68996766923601755072007-07-18T09:22:00.000-05:002007-07-18T09:22:00.000-05:00Roz, I am amazed at how frequently some books focu...Roz, I am amazed at how frequently some books focus themselves to kids, hen they could just as easily be re-titled as self-help for adults.<BR/><BR/>Everything I need to know about myself I learned from parenting books and everything I need to know about raising kids I learned in puppy kindergarten. LOL<BR/><BR/>I rushed through the book a bit too, but then made my self go back and slow down, at which point I saw the mastery. Then again, not everybody likes pistachio ice cream, right?<BR/><BR/>Anyway, you know I hear you about the big life change.<BR/><BR/>Yes my dear, kindred spirits. :)<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Emily, I think me and my kids are usually the hour's entertainment wherever we go. I wouldn't have thought of saying goodbye to a slide either, but the book suggested it and wow, it is amazing. Her practical advice is pretty spot on for us. We do the same in stores. The kdis see stuff they want, and I'm clear, it's not ours. We can admire it but then we say goodbye. Only yesterday a lady said, "Wow, I've never seen a two year old leave a toy behind without a meltdown like that!" This just after Persistence merrily waved "bye bye dolly!"<BR/><BR/>Let me know what you think of the book.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Queen, I am so excited you're going to join in! Let me know and I will come right over to link and read.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-80350552023092858992007-07-18T09:03:00.000-05:002007-07-18T09:03:00.000-05:00First off, I had a hard time slogging through that...First off, I had a hard time slogging through that book, Julie. I read it for a book club and didn't really enjoy it. (On a deadline.) I think I need to re-read this. I remember being horrified by it all, but rushing through it and not really taking it all in.<BR/><BR/>Now, onto the subject at hand.<BR/><BR/>We really are kindred spirits, are we not Anne?<BR/><BR/>I'm not good at transitioning at all. I don't cling to things, but man do I cling to people and situations and memories. And I have a really difficult time letting go. <BR/><BR/>Take, for example, my current situation. Leaving work for grad school. I'm going through one freak out after another because I have a hard time moving from one aspect of my life into another. I have a hard time breathing when I move between places, situations and people.<BR/><BR/>I try to be zen about it, I really do. But it's not always easy.<BR/><BR/>It's not easy at all, actually.<BR/><BR/>I need to read this other book you write about. I'm not a kid but it might come in handy.kalirozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10413769558136831135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-51764175903987831972007-07-18T09:00:00.000-05:002007-07-18T09:00:00.000-05:00I live Ishiguro, and I can't wait to read the book...I live Ishiguro, and I can't wait to read the book now. <BR/><BR/>How nice for your kids that you can relate to their transitional needs. I never thought of saying goodbye to a slide.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-80004098604935939282007-07-18T08:38:00.000-05:002007-07-18T08:38:00.000-05:00"I am the sort who is the first to the party of em..."I am the sort who is the first to the party of emotional investing and the last to leave"<BR/><BR/>This describes me perfectly! I have been wanting to post about my need to let go of the pain of finding out someone I thought was a best friend...was not. I won't be able to do it today...but I want to post on this later. <BR/><BR/>(This time I really mean it!)<BR/><BR/>I will let you know when I get it up!<BR/><BR/>Thanks for this post...I can completely relate to it!Queen of the Mayhemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10317309061471274358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-16982574095162971122007-07-18T08:15:00.000-05:002007-07-18T08:15:00.000-05:00I promise I went to your site before posting this!...I promise I went to your site before posting this! I must have just hit before you posted, LOL. Then again, my time to do this was 6:15 to 7 a.m. I will add you in, and the parameters are WIDE open. I love different takes on it, not just different POVs about an issue, but different takes on what this is about.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-5786699123745350972007-07-18T08:07:00.000-05:002007-07-18T08:07:00.000-05:00Mine's up too! I think I'm supposed to email you,...Mine's up too! I think I'm supposed to email you, but I'm rushing and can't find your address. :) Three weeks in a row! Although, my use of the topic isn't really what you had in mind, I don't think...Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07316677018586769316noreply@blogger.com