tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post5246848433678901036..comments2023-09-29T06:00:09.242-05:00Comments on Julie Pippert: Using My Words: Sharing your gifts: Presents from the heart...not a listJulie Pipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-34003691914456538502007-12-18T05:55:00.000-06:002007-12-18T05:55:00.000-06:00you do pretty much what we do. i don't quite unde...you do pretty much what we do. i don't quite understand why it's become so hard to pick out a present for someone you love. it's not rocket science! my sil gets completely panicky at the thought of having to think up an idea for a present for someone.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-26372911811015182322007-12-17T20:07:00.000-06:002007-12-17T20:07:00.000-06:00I don't tell people what I want either. Unless it...I don't tell people what I want either. Unless it's my husband and it's something big we want/need for the house. I may sometimes ask people what they need/like, but only if I'm stuck for ideas.<BR/><BR/>My brother's ex-fiance's family had this whole wish list thing and you were ONLY supposed to buy from the list. You should have heard the ex-fiance's sister when I told her I'd picked out a Wedgewood clock for her sister in London. Then and there I swore I would NEVER make a wish list. Ever.Lawyer Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06819273107327846943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-76157437868377659252007-12-17T13:41:00.000-06:002007-12-17T13:41:00.000-06:00You really rock as a person. You have such a great...You really rock as a person. You have such a great and unique handle on parenting and now I find out .... gift giving. When I did celebrate Christmas, I always spent a lot of time selecting just the right gift for people. I didn't ask them for a list of wants. I just picked things that I thought fit them. And most of the time I was right. I really does make gift giving ... and receiving a lot more fun. Kudos to you for writing this post and reminding us of the importance of the holidays ... it's not about the gifts ... it's about family and spending time together and making sure our loved ones know how much we care about them.Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058386764811033042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-90060929349231036452007-12-17T09:23:00.000-06:002007-12-17T09:23:00.000-06:00You took the post right out of my mouth (fingers?)...You took the post right out of my mouth (fingers?). We DO do wish lists in our family, and usually I appreciate having some suggestions. And I look at them as suggestions, not requirements. But this year some of the "wishes" were so specific that it took the fun out of shopping.Mayberryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14342826784650208124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-86061374277086450482007-12-17T07:11:00.000-06:002007-12-17T07:11:00.000-06:00I'm a bit torn on this too - wish lists do give yo...I'm a bit torn on this too - wish lists do give you some ideas for gifts (for others) that you might have never thought of on your own, yet it does take a little of the spontaneous fun out of the whole thing.<BR/><BR/>I like to use wish lists as a guide but veer off the mark and get a little creative.<BR/><BR/>Definitely, the gifts I enjoy giving - and getting - the most are those that are totally unexpected.Robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02101289328294242999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-72828120636926130392007-12-16T22:28:00.000-06:002007-12-16T22:28:00.000-06:00i love the way you deal with it. i grew up doing ...i love the way you deal with it. i grew up doing lists (with the understanding that they were ideas and suggestions) and there are things I like about it - such as getting things you want or need and can't or won't get for yourself (like this year my parents have gotten us a fire pit, which I've wanted for years but couldn't ever justify in the budget). but i also love getting things that I know made people think of me and want to get for me - and those are often the most fun.painted maypolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446625015003854710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-1786826788596256272007-12-16T22:17:00.000-06:002007-12-16T22:17:00.000-06:00I feel the same way - my favorite presents have be...I feel the same way - my favorite presents have been things I wouldn't have thought of asking for. Simple things, really....<BR/><BR/>And I find, whenever I'm having trouble thinking of what to get for a person, it helps to go super-cheap. It ends up being more fun that way. Believe it or not, I couldn't think what to get my son for his 16th birthday; so I picked up a bag of gummy bears. And he liked them!<BR/><BR/>I also adore Yankee Swaps - nothing over 10 dollars (sometimes we say 5 dollars or less), it forces people to get creative. And everyone has such a blast "stealing" the presents from each other. Until you've seen 2 grown-ups fighting over a froggy ornament, you don't know what fun is.Suburban Correspondenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-41294510905142713872007-12-16T21:10:00.000-06:002007-12-16T21:10:00.000-06:00i like the generic wish list. the one with lots o...i like the generic wish list. the one with lots of wiggle room. for example one year my mom asked me what i wanted. I said "picture frames." She chose a lovely collection frames and filed them with pictures. my inlaws took the same wish list freaked out because they had no idea what size, what store, etc. i wanted them to think about how they know me and be creative. it didn't work. <BR/><BR/>and i have a lot of your posts to catch up on!<BR/>xoxo<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://runningonempty-christine.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Running on empty</A>Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662448292809451387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-36377881386574387352007-12-16T21:01:00.000-06:002007-12-16T21:01:00.000-06:00I love your perspective, and totally agree with yo...I love your perspective, and totally agree with your reasoning. But I actually feel exactly opposite. I agonize about what someone might want / need / like...do they already have something like it? I guess I'm far too practical, because I hate the idea of buying something for someone that they don't need or want. Money wasted, clutter accumulating. And on the receiving end, I guess I have tastes that are far too particular, because unless someone knows me well, like...I think my best friend and my sister are about the only ones, they miss the mark every time. And I'm the one with a pair of mittens, hat, and scarf that don't match my coat, and a large "humorous" book that isn't my taste of humor. Even my husband, when he branches out, misses almost every time. I'm grateful for the thought, but it grates on me to get something I can't use. One Christmas my mother in law consulted my list, and every gift I opened was a thrill. It was a goldmine of things I had been wishing for. Other Christmases I have to figure out what to do with something I'll never use. Anyway, I really wish I could adopt your attitude about it all and not be bothered so much about whether or not something will be used or appreciated, but my own experience has me firmly committed to making and following Christmas lists. I don't hold high expectations for what I'll be getting, though. Every gift is a fun surprise, and things on my list that I don't receive from anyone I leave on my list for next year, or spend Christmas money on it. <BR/>A few people, though, I shop for with just them in mind. My Grandmother. She never makes list, doesn't have a lot of practical needs, it's just a gift to show her I love her on Christmas Day, and it's exactly what you described...something I choose because I think she'll enjoy it, a token of all she means to me. It really is the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas.Christiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14864160931635627468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-36932934165041653322007-12-16T20:58:00.000-06:002007-12-16T20:58:00.000-06:00We also get bombarded with the asking right around...We also get bombarded with the asking right around Thanksgiving. I have found the best gifts to be those I didn't ask for! For instance when someone notices me "notice" something...FENICLEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03933260775407897696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-16786280248961291582007-12-16T20:49:00.000-06:002007-12-16T20:49:00.000-06:00I'm torn about what else, if anything, to say.Addr...I'm torn about what else, if anything, to say.<BR/><BR/>Address the counterpoints and other good points that gently and fairly differ from mine?<BR/><BR/>Or let them lie, strong and valid on their own, just different?<BR/><BR/>I'm torn.<BR/><BR/>There are so many levels of reasons why the gift list troubles me and so much history behind it. <BR/><BR/>I tried to share a few of them, but it's all about POV. <BR/><BR/>I think it really depends upon how you view the holidays and gift giving. <BR/><BR/>It really is the thought that counts for me. I wish people I knew believed that, in general, and had less stress about gift buying and giving.<BR/><BR/>I have conversations with my MIL, give her hints and ideas about our family. I don't mind that sort of thing. It's a nice chat, actually.<BR/><BR/>Flutter, your charitable donation idea is a great one and is one I believe strongly in. I always ask for donations.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, this is an unacceptable option to the people who buy me gifts. <BR/><BR/>Since I think giving and receiving is about both parties, both views are important but someone has to give. Since they are the giver, it seems right that I compromise.<BR/><BR/>It gives them a lot of joy to have this whole process of buying an object, wrapping it, setting it under a tree, having the recipient unwrap it and hold it. Enjoy it.<BR/><BR/>I think I am related to a lot of kinetic learners.<BR/><BR/>I am odd man out I guess. LOL<BR/><BR/>I just want to say I'm so glad everyone answered so honestly. You've all given me much to ponder, too.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-11252589523633132972007-12-16T20:46:00.000-06:002007-12-16T20:46:00.000-06:00Julie, I like that...something aesthetic.***Heidi ...Julie, I like that...something aesthetic.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Heidi I go back and forth about gifting only the children. It would be more economical. It would make sense. But then again, there is that joy of giving. We only do immediate family though.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-65043030301382605872007-12-16T20:44:00.000-06:002007-12-16T20:44:00.000-06:00This is something I have mixed feelings about. For...This is something I have mixed feelings about. For many years, I would spend a lot of time carefully picking out gifts for various relatives. I've recently been cured of this for a few reasons. One is that I don't really have time to shop around. My list of people to buy for got really long when my husband and I joined forces. And we really don't see some of them often enought to be able to pick out something that we know would suit them. Another reason I don't spend as much time looking for the right gifts for certain people is that I have learned that there is no "right gift" for some of them, unless they pick it out themselves. It's terribly frustrating to learn that your carefully selected gift was exchanged, or to get veiled complaints about it. So now I am glad to use wishlists for those people.<BR/><BR/>As far as making wishlists, I'm actually in favor of it. My in-laws requested that we put together a list for our daughter, and I was happy to do so. At least it gives us a way of showing what kinds of toys and books we like. We only mention it to people if they ask.<BR/><BR/>That being said, I'd be happier to do away with much of the gift exchanging. I like the idea of giving to charities, and I'm doing some Heifer International gifts this year.alejnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07220142310790773053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-39339818688159967352007-12-16T19:54:00.001-06:002007-12-16T19:54:00.001-06:00I wrote a comment about this somewhere yesterday. ...I wrote a comment about this somewhere yesterday. Like Chani, I agree that the whole idea of a list seems like bartering to me as well. Very cold and impersonal and more like "shopping" than gifting. My girls make letters for Santa--we refer to them loosely. But I honestly can't stand it when people ask what I want, and I refuse to ask others what they want either. It's not about placing an order. I know that one of my sisters-in-law can't stand this--she wants to "order" the gift I will purchase for her son. It makes me sad, but I usually do what she prefers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-8797375402704394662007-12-16T19:54:00.000-06:002007-12-16T19:54:00.000-06:00I wrote a comment about this somewhere yesterday. ...I wrote a comment about this somewhere yesterday. Like Chani, I agree that the whole idea of a list seems like bartering to me as well. Very cold and impersonal and more like "shopping" than gifting. My girls make letters for Santa--we refer to them loosely. But I honestly can't stand it when people ask what I want, and I refuse to ask others what they want either. It's not about placing an order. I know that one of my sisters-in-law can't stand this--she wants to "order" the gift I will purchase for her son. It makes me sad, but I usually do what she prefers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-18221238092521123172007-12-16T19:27:00.000-06:002007-12-16T19:27:00.000-06:00We have a few birthdays in December too which mean...We have a few birthdays in December too which means that by January we look like a toy shop - obscene!<BR/><BR/><BR/>A few years ago I convinced my children that Father Christmas only brought them 3 presents each and a stocking - they believed me.<BR/><BR/>As for everyone else, I prefer to receive the quirkie personal, even if it's a mis-fire, at least they tried.<BR/>Cheers<BR/><A HREF="http://whittereronautism.com/" REL="nofollow">"Whittereronautism"</A>Maddyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05828186178060722812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-85848049430680476142007-12-16T17:38:00.000-06:002007-12-16T17:38:00.000-06:00My new gift list is this: I want things that appea...My new gift list is this: I want things that appeal to my senses. I want pretty things, colorful things, to adorn my life.<BR/><BR/>I tried this last year at Christmas and got the most lovely gifts. I anticipate the same this year.Julie @ Letter9https://www.blogger.com/profile/04041893881369746246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-56079650890317056092007-12-16T15:52:00.000-06:002007-12-16T15:52:00.000-06:00If I don't wishlist, my FIL has an absolute aneury...If I don't wishlist, my FIL has an absolute aneurysm. I have to say, I can't blame him.<BR/><BR/>I don't think it's terribly impolite to ask, and for people to provide a list. It is a stressful time, with work and then all of the shopping stacked on top of it. Sometimes creativity isn't exactly within reach. If you'd rather not get gifts then ask for charitable donations and save someone a nervous breakdown :)flutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-89502613292141972562007-12-16T13:21:00.000-06:002007-12-16T13:21:00.000-06:00We've actually stopped giving gifts to adults, we ...We've actually stopped giving gifts to adults, we only give to the kids, which I think makes everything much easier. <BR/><BR/>Personally, I think my children are spoiled. They don't ask for a lot, but they usually do end up getting what they ask for - which obviously makes them expect it next time around. I try to tell them there's no guarantee that they'll get what they ask for, but actions speak louder than words, I'm afraid.<BR/><BR/>HeidiFamily Adventurehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00093360285075029799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-84649809349644893642007-12-16T13:14:00.000-06:002007-12-16T13:14:00.000-06:00What Yolanda said. lol OK, not really - but close!...What Yolanda said. lol OK, not really - but close! Having grown up in poverty, as an adult, I really loved getting stuff for a long time. It's only recently that I've been able to let some of that go, as I've honored the boys' wants and have seen them go from wanting stuff to fill a void (like I was) to wanting stuff, because they really like the stuff. They don't have voids; mine are smaller now and I know stuff won't help. Well, unless it's chocolate and a good book. Those help 'most any time.<BR/><BR/>It took a lot to break me away from my childhood shame of desire - because just *wanting* was seen as wrong - to reveling in being alive, being human, and liking gifts. Feeling worthy, as Yolanda said. My sister started the very-specific-list thing a few years ago, and I've found it helpful. Sometimes I've *needed* something and just didn't have the money for it, and it was great to have someone give that to me.<BR/><BR/>Hmmm... lots to ponder. I think wanting is just... human. I was shamed for wanting as a child, and it didn't make me experience want any less.dharmamamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04300114394099599509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-29576927568913958182007-12-16T13:04:00.000-06:002007-12-16T13:04:00.000-06:00Buying gifts is one of those areas that I really o...Buying gifts is one of those areas that I really over-think and stress about. I worry excessively that the person will not like the gift and I spend too much time on it. I hate shopping. I leave it to the last minute and that just makes it worse. For something like Christmas, I could not survive without a list of my own making, listing the people I'm buying for and ideas I have for them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-11064394286096474262007-12-16T12:55:00.000-06:002007-12-16T12:55:00.000-06:00I am ambivalent on this topic, obviously, as I hav...I am ambivalent on this topic, obviously, as I have been maintaining a wish list on my own blog, after being inspired by a post on the Superhero journal. For me it is an exercise in feeling I have a right to ask, that I am worthy of making a request, and that I am worthy of having wishes fulfilled. <BR/><BR/>It's also acknowledging that when people are looking to buy a gift for me, their intention is for me to enjoy it. I always appreciate their time, effort, and their expense. They get my appreciation, but what they want is my enjoyment. By revealing what I might like, I am respecting that intention. <BR/><BR/>I am intuitive and perceptive, and these qualities helps me to pick out those things that others will love or truly need. But I sympathize with the fact that not everyone I know <I>just knows</I> what I want, or (more importantly) what I need. So, when they ask I tell them. On my wish list, I tell them without their having to ask.<BR/><BR/>That said, I actually agree with much of what you have written here, which is one of the reasons I have shied away from asking for things in the past, including my feelings of unworthiness. Hence the ambivalence. I haven't come to a firm decision on either side, but this will definitely give me more to mull over.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://callipygianchronicle.wordpress.com" REL="nofollow">The Callipygian Chronicle</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-38875296325080585302007-12-16T12:32:00.000-06:002007-12-16T12:32:00.000-06:00I don't like the idea of lists. It's too much like...I don't like the idea of lists. It's too much like bartering.thailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-68235304516218805062007-12-16T12:24:00.000-06:002007-12-16T12:24:00.000-06:00Oh Suz, I LOVE that: the gift of time and joy thro...Oh Suz, I LOVE that: the gift of time and joy through a fun experience. That's awesome. <BR/><BR/>****<BR/><BR/>Kyla, when people say I am so hard to buy for, I really think it is more about them and what gifting is to them than about me. I am really ridiculously easily pleased. <BR/><BR/>I can't imagine you being hard to buy for, really. I can think of so many things you might enjoy or that you deserve. :)<BR/><BR/>My FIL and BIL are all into science fiction series and DVDs and stuff I don't know so I skip that---figure they will get it for themselves anyway. I get them things they might not get for themselves. So far I have NEVER pleased my BIL but eh I'm optimistic LOL. <BR/><BR/>I suppose your method is better---getting a specific item to buy within their hobbies. And I probably ought to do that. I just like to keep trying though LOL.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Jen, I've meant to contact you. I have something---an idea not stuff LOL---so I will check in tomorrow.<BR/><BR/>As I confessed to another blogger today stuff makes me jittery but I do enjoy getting gifts.<BR/><BR/>We have purged purged purged today in anticipation. If I have empty spaces in my house I am not so jittery about getting stuff.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Karen, now I like that idea too! Framing pictures. And donating to charities for parents. I also think it's a good idea to make it about exchanging, not being the limelight receiver.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Liv, if I could I'd be there for you...I've got some green apple vodka...<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Magpie, I have that book and music wish list for myself too LOL...helps me keep track of items I'm wanting so when I can I get them. <BR/><BR/>And yes, you sound like you give like I do.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Emily, yes, that's a great idea. I asked for that but my people are people of stuff.<BR/><BR/>***<BR/><BR/>Suki, that makes so much sense.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-29156416887981702232007-12-16T12:07:00.000-06:002007-12-16T12:07:00.000-06:00I ask my family to give experiences - for instance...I ask my family to give experiences - for instance, we'll go out on a dinner cruise with my sister and BIL this Christmas. They'll get dinner and we'll get drinks. I get my parents and in-laws pictures of the boys. G. and I don't really get each other gifts, but I'm thinking about starting a tradition of giving to others. We really have all the <I>things</I> that we need...aside from refinished kitchen cabinets, of course.Suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14382885000205172615noreply@blogger.com