tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post8548331609731127327..comments2023-09-29T06:00:09.242-05:00Comments on Julie Pippert: Using My Words: Let's get it on: Abstinence only sex education is risky and ineffectiveJulie Pipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-51182856319938207042009-05-19T20:36:00.867-05:002009-05-19T20:36:00.867-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Blahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02329623637339009607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-55509992428010992792007-11-15T22:18:00.000-06:002007-11-15T22:18:00.000-06:00Hear! Hear!Hear! Hear!MyThreeBlogshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07817857109007712976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-37234680613592459562007-11-14T07:46:00.000-06:002007-11-14T07:46:00.000-06:00this is a tough one. i believe you are right, tha...this is a tough one. i believe you are right, that it is my job alone to teach these things to my kids. but i still wonder about those children with no education, no moral instruction, or no guidance in these matters at home.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662448292809451387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-628537191959850822007-11-14T02:57:00.000-06:002007-11-14T02:57:00.000-06:00Being an Aussie, our experience is a little differ...Being an Aussie, our experience is a little differently.<BR/><BR/>My 12 year old, 4'8" son is having sex ed at school at the moment. Very factual all the way through. The 4th (and last) session is on STD's and involves a condom demonstration.<BR/><BR/>Far out! Does he really need to have that while he's still in childhood? Can't we wait for adolescence? I understand there is some need for this, but honestly, I'd rather the condom demonstration was delayed until high school.<BR/><BR/>AliMaisyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05309794913406397044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-71576578113842190482007-11-13T23:58:00.000-06:002007-11-13T23:58:00.000-06:00So much of what most schools teach isn't education...So much of what most schools teach isn't education but values and it's a sad state to be in. Parents should be handling that, not the schools.Scribbithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178711182424809035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-19393674995827271862007-11-13T20:19:00.000-06:002007-11-13T20:19:00.000-06:00My wife and I talk very openly with our teens abou...My wife and I talk very openly with our teens about the choices they will need to make with their partners. We realize we can't stop them from doing whatever they're going to do but we can encourage them to slow down, abstain, understand teen pregnancy issues and disease and talk to us openly about their relationships. We also don't give them the opportunity to be in an environment where they can be tempted, such as being alone in someone's house overnight etc. We try to teach them to make good decisions and hope it sinks in!Jeff and Charli Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13868852480996815442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-75908067576303009472007-11-13T15:08:00.000-06:002007-11-13T15:08:00.000-06:00Cecilieaux, thank you. Interesting point about the...Cecilieaux, thank you. Interesting point about the parents and churches. I don't think they are too lazy. I think they prefer to ensure that no other mindset reach their precious darlings.<BR/><BR/>****<BR/><BR/>Atypical. I was counting on you. Okay. But I understand so I'll wait.<BR/><BR/>****<BR/><BR/>Chani, succinct and yes, thank you. <BR/><BR/>Dharmamama, no, not very subtle or latent. I'll have a look at your link, thanks!<BR/><BR/>Emily!! This, "I think if we were more scared of disease and accidental pregnancy, we'd probably be chosing slightly more effective methods of helping our kids."<BR/><BR/>MARVELOUS point and way to say it.<BR/><BR/>Suki, your point is well made and taken. So true. Many parents...yes. And this hits Gina's point as well...what do we do for kids who don't get it from their parents? I have many thoughts but...that's another post and I'd need to think them all the way around.<BR/><BR/>SM and Cathy, IN STEREO and JINKS! Thanks you two. :)<BR/><BR/>Kyla, okay yes I do recall...that's was a good one. As it so very happens err...abstinence wasn't exactly on my radar, either. I like to think I was wise, discreet and mindful. Plus, your point about abstinence as the defense is excellent.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-40959934835517695092007-11-13T14:46:00.000-06:002007-11-13T14:46:00.000-06:00"Your job is to shape her for her tenure at Harvar..."Your job is to shape her for her tenure at Harvard, okay? She's going to get there on the strength of her academic accomplishments. She'll remain there on the strength of her character.The former is your job, the latter is mine."<BR/><BR/>AMEN!!!Cathy, Amy and Kristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01472486650115997239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-82721062851416613382007-11-13T14:22:00.001-06:002007-11-13T14:22:00.001-06:00Just last night I saw a PSA that was very well don...Just last night I saw a PSA that was very well done, and the teens were saying, "Tell me about sex. I need to know and I'm going to hear it from kids at school anyway, so tell me your side." And then at the end the voiceover was, "Teach your kids that abstinence is the only way and that they should wait until marriage!"<BR/>B.S. I hope the neighbors didn't hear me laugh/groan so late!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-47613772974533885612007-11-13T14:22:00.000-06:002007-11-13T14:22:00.000-06:00Great post!My kids are getting to an age where the...Great post!<BR/><BR/>My kids are getting to an age where these "talks" will be happening. But I intend on making it an ongoing discussion rather than a one time event. I am hoping that this will insure that our values will be passed down. <BR/><BR/>But I agree with you in that the job of passing down morals and ethics is mine, not theirs.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14599462281364463565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-91334605327667354332007-11-13T14:04:00.000-06:002007-11-13T14:04:00.000-06:00Oh my. SUCH a complex issue. And one I'd prefer ...Oh my. SUCH a complex issue. And one I'd prefer the schools not teach my children. I agree with you. This is my job. Because it's my job, I'll be sure to address it before the school does and more often. I like to do my own brainwashing.<BR/><BR/>Plus, as for the morals... Oy. I can't agree that pre-marital sex is immoral. Is it only immoral for those over 18? 21? 35? Do I think that teenagers are emotionally mature enough to handle the emotions that come along as part of a physical relationship? Hell no. I speak from personal experience. And this is what I'll teach my children. While I'm showing them where we keep the condoms.Lawyer Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06819273107327846943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-20613657575844778502007-11-13T13:46:00.000-06:002007-11-13T13:46:00.000-06:00I do agree that the moral issue should be from the...I do agree that the moral issue should be from the home some kids are not getting any message from home. What do we do with them? If we address no morals in school then what? I think these are the most vulernable kids these are the ones who need this education the most. I do think they need to hear something about morals in school. But again with a why answer. Why would you wait, why would you not want your first encounter to be in an alley at 13 etc. Again, get them thinking. Every child can learn to make good choices but they need to get the chance.Gina Pintarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15089007650772242209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-36743040064402253812007-11-13T13:38:00.000-06:002007-11-13T13:38:00.000-06:00Ok, I admit I did not read the whole thing yet but...Ok, I admit I did not read the whole thing yet but wanted to comment on the beginning.<BR/><BR/>I think your problem is also a problem I see here too. We are teaching by telling. Do this, don't do that. We NEED to teach children (and everyone else) TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES. I keep coming back to opinions are not wrong they are just different! We do not have to all think the same. <BR/><BR/>Specifically, teach cause and effect. If you have sex, you can get pregnant, then you will have a baby, not be able to go out, hard to go to college ETC. This abstenence stuff is only teaching don't have sex because it is wrong. Since when to teens care about wrong?? They learn math, teach probablilty. Use real life examples. Not "this happens to someone else' but "this could, with high probability" happen to you. <BR/><BR/>This does not even bring up the moral stuff and the "nice girls don't" stuff. The latter is what kept me away in high school. Oh and seeing what happened to reputations of the young girls who did. Did not want to be talked about like THAT. <BR/><BR/>You brought up a good and interesting point with "crazy hat day". I never thought of it as a conformist thing. We do that sort of stuff as School Spirit Days. I will have to think about that more. Does it contribute to thinking alike? Does it encourage conformity? Interesting!Gina Pintarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15089007650772242209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-80324158014848399992007-11-13T13:00:00.000-06:002007-11-13T13:00:00.000-06:00this is very complicated. My parents did a pretty...this is very complicated. My parents did a pretty good job at this when I was younger... I still laugh about the box of of contraceptives they pulled out at dinner one day, much to the dismay of my brother and myself. But their message was this: we would prefer you wait to have sex until you are married (and this is why...) but we know that you might not, so you need to know about contraception, how it works, and what it can and can't do. i had known about how sex works and the names of body parts for YEARS already. And it wasn't a constant discussion, although it came up occasionally and I knew where my parents stood... so it wasn't this HUGE thing in my house.<BR/><BR/>the difficulty with schools IS that kids get such different levels of info in their homes. It would be nice if schools did their jobs more factually and gave more complete information.painted maypolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446625015003854710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-79980111409414478102007-11-13T12:48:00.000-06:002007-11-13T12:48:00.000-06:00I believe in abstinence as the best form of birth ...I believe in abstinence as the best form of birth control, but I don't believe in abstinence-only sex education. I actually wrote a policy brief on it a few years back for a public health agency I worked for. From my research on the topic, it was clear that comprehensive sex ed was the way to go and that abstinence only just doesn't work. Too bad our tax $$ are going to abstinence only despite the research. It's so political.Cristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07245436504933052526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-48273803809436993632007-11-13T12:16:00.000-06:002007-11-13T12:16:00.000-06:00I agree--schools shouldn't be the front line on th...I agree--schools shouldn't be the front line on this issue. I already think school's assume too many roles that parents should assume as it is.<BR/><BR/>Great post--very provocative and well-articulated.Aliki2006https://www.blogger.com/profile/15763865834765963343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-50398513367279868062007-11-13T11:51:00.000-06:002007-11-13T11:51:00.000-06:00I've mentioned before that for ME, abstinence only...I've mentioned before that for ME, abstinence only was not the way to go. LOL. I have a couple in-laws that it did work for, as in, no sex until marriage...and it boggles my mind. BOGGLES IT! Here's the thing, I think the school's message had little to nothing to do with it. It was a choice they made for themselves. I don't think abstinence only teachings had anything to do with it, really.<BR/><BR/>As a Christian, I suppose I am meant to subscribe to the abstinence party line, but I don't know that I really do. I don't think it is all that realistic, it surely isn't realistic as an only line of defense. Personally, I want my children to have the FACTS, not the FEAR. I want them to be educated and responsible about the decisions they make, because as much as we think we have control over these issues as parents, we really don't. It comes down to the decisions they will choose to make, just like once upon a time, we made our own decisions about it. And all we can do is equip them for those decisions.<BR/><BR/>When I worked in Christian school, this was one of the things I really pushed for, education beyond "Sex is BAD. Don't do it!" because it is a joke. Kids NEED more information than that, and if you don't give it...they get it on their own.Kylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-9471685810533498312007-11-13T11:36:00.000-06:002007-11-13T11:36:00.000-06:00She's going to get there on the strength of her ac...<I>She's going to get there on the strength of her academic accomplishments. She'll remain there on the strength of her character. The former is your job, the latter is mine.</I><BR/><BR/>Amen.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-34171463129492111222007-11-13T11:25:00.000-06:002007-11-13T11:25:00.000-06:00Well said. Unfortunately, where I live we have to ...Well said. <BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, where I live we have to educate parents to be free enough to overcome their own inhibitions and talk about sex. Children need education, and most parents are not in a position to provide them with it. However, abstinence-only sex ed is absolutely wrong. Simple reason - children and young adults need to be equipped with what to do if ever in a position where they might have intercourse. Education has to be constructive.Sukhalokahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08839282055547314024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-27539939096264123622007-11-13T10:59:00.001-06:002007-11-13T10:59:00.001-06:00I rather wonder why we are so scared of sex. I th...I rather wonder why we are so scared of sex. I think if we were more scared of disease and accidental pregnancy, we'd probably be chosing slightly more effective methods of helping our kids.<BR/><BR/>Great post, Julie.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-45673421369697040992007-11-13T10:26:00.000-06:002007-11-13T10:26:00.000-06:00Couldn't agree with you more. My oldest went throu...Couldn't agree with you more. My oldest went through OWL classes at our UU church last year. It was SUCH an open-minded honest thorough approach - I highly recommend those classes. (http://tinyurl.com/2zmkrx) Since we unschool, I've not had to deal with the school system's latent (or not so latent) agendas - thank goodness! Open honest communication goes such a long way - I'm glad you have that with your girls.dharmamamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04300114394099599509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-48188129134066366782007-11-13T09:20:00.000-06:002007-11-13T09:20:00.000-06:00I agree with you completely. Values should be taug...I agree with you completely. Values should be taught at home.. and that includes values clarification techniques. The schools need to stick to basic social skills and academics.thailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-2613137494510741012007-11-13T08:29:00.000-06:002007-11-13T08:29:00.000-06:00My thoughts on this are very complicated, and I ha...My thoughts on this are very complicated, and I have a rather nasty cold (which has dampened my ability to form a coherent sentence), so I am not even going to attempt to detail the areas in which I agree and disagree on this right now. I guess I'll just put it in the bin with all of the other things I'm going to get to some day.<BR/><BR/>How's that for a cop out?atypicalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09332618564238120593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-15286357170130921582007-11-13T07:13:00.000-06:002007-11-13T07:13:00.000-06:00You thought this one out very well and persuasivel...You thought this one out very well and persuasively. Particularly the distinction between academics and values.<BR/><BR/>There seems to be an odd internal contradiction in the thinking among the evangelical conservatives who have pushed the GOP in the direction of "abstinence." They can't possibly want separation of church and state, or even the relativism that holds all churches to be more or less the same (as long as they are "Bahble-based," whatever that really means), and also want the very secular public schools teaching what parents and those same churches seem either too inept or lazy to teach themselves.<BR/><BR/>I can understand a Catholic school or a Baptist school teaching the religious ethics worn on the sleeve (but not so well in practice). But religious ethics have no place in public schools.Cecilio Moraleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05283375962527765787noreply@blogger.com