tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post82969681940403280..comments2023-09-29T06:00:09.242-05:00Comments on Julie Pippert: Using My Words: What you really need to tell teens about sexual assaultJulie Pipperthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-15051424361910414742013-03-26T14:12:24.803-05:002013-03-26T14:12:24.803-05:00thank you for this. i stuck it in evernote for fut...thank you for this. i stuck it in evernote for future reference...Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-70070671260367779842013-03-25T12:14:15.658-05:002013-03-25T12:14:15.658-05:00Thanks for linking to my blog post. I really appre...Thanks for linking to my blog post. I really appreciate it. Steubenville was awful, but I really hope that it's a turning point. Jennifer Finkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10568576650343979230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-39166748552865311642013-03-20T11:11:47.267-05:002013-03-20T11:11:47.267-05:00Every single damn thing in this post: YES.Every single damn thing in this post: YES.Stimeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09685801693683588805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-4017684049486877682013-03-20T09:53:17.029-05:002013-03-20T09:53:17.029-05:00Jenni, thanks so much for sharing it out on reddit...Jenni, thanks so much for sharing it out on reddit!<br /><br />Sean you definitely lead your kids and hopefully others too with that!<br /><br />Sarah, thanks!<br /><br />Kimos, I could not agree more. Excellent point. I concur in a way it's sad we have to teach this for protection, but at heart it's always a good lesson to learn to respect your self and your body and also others, too.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-50134964722702873602013-03-20T09:42:53.723-05:002013-03-20T09:42:53.723-05:00For parents of pre-teens, please do not think it i...For parents of pre-teens, please do not think it is too early to start having these talks. In our local school(wealthy suburban) district, I know of a 5th grader who became pregnant. And lots of middle school girls are being pressured to have oral sex - boys assure them that it isn't Really sex at all.<br /><br />Girls and boys need discussions about sex, coercion, and respect long before you expect them to be interested in sex. Sad that it is so.Kimoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11270629254372967988noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-69916604600234535772013-03-19T18:29:03.934-05:002013-03-19T18:29:03.934-05:00You are so good at synthesizing information, Julie...You are so good at synthesizing information, Julie.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-9236205305437573712013-03-19T12:31:49.066-05:002013-03-19T12:31:49.066-05:00Excellent article! The victim is just that A VICTI...Excellent article! The victim is just that A VICTIM! <br /><br />As a person, I have focused the last few years of my life helping women learn self defense techniques to defend themselves against rape, sexual assault, and abuse. It has been great for my soul!<br />As a father of two young boys (6 and 11), I drill into their heads that women MUST be respected and loved not thought of as objects and abused. I make sure they see how I treat their mom (my wife) with honor, respect, and love. Lead by example!Seanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00915791261176559557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-77171105554280326562013-03-19T12:01:10.971-05:002013-03-19T12:01:10.971-05:00All excellent points... and echoes much of my feel...All excellent points... and echoes much of my feelings as well. The shift in our Rape Culture will happen through our sons not our daughters. As a feminist and survivor, I know why I gave birth to boys.<br />PS - shared this on Reddit.Jenni Chiu @MommyNaniBooboo https://www.blogger.com/profile/03539931317104305201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-64713329523904510162013-03-19T10:11:47.183-05:002013-03-19T10:11:47.183-05:00Thanks Jim and Traci!
For those with young kids, ...Thanks Jim and Traci!<br /><br />For those with young kids, here is how I have had this conversation with them from earliest years:<br /><br />I started some form of this kind of discussion with them from birth. <br /><br />When they were little, I never forced body contact (relatives had to respect the kids' wishes as far as proximity and contact went). I emphasized the importance of respecting other people's bodies and wishes (if someone says don't touch me then stop, read and respect others' wishes wrt contact).<br /><br />It's gotten more complex as they've gotten older. I've kept it up though. I've found some resources but I've also discovered that tweens and teens have a remarkable ability not to apply lessons to themselves. So as helpful as the resources -- books, articles, and videos -- are for naming things, i have to keep up conversations about their lives and what's happening and draw parallels.<br /><br />One day recently we watched a show about the dangers of stupid stunts, how kids are doing them and being inspired by YouTube, and why they keep doing them even when they've been hurt or seen a friend killed. We talked very openly and my daughter was very aware of how stupid those stunts were and why it was bad to do them or get peer pressured into dares. <br /><br />And yet! Shortly after that she attended a party, came home, told me a story about some boys doing stupid and dangerous stunts. She told it humorously, as in how cool and funny it was. Our conversation had fled her mind. And so...I said how is that different than the stupid stunts we just talked about? What could have happened? What should have happened?<br /><br />All of the sudden she got it: it was easy to judge the kids in the news story (strangers) and easy to get sucked in with the kids at the party (friends). Laughing egged them on and was wrong. When one wanted to stop and the kids egged him on to keep going was wrong.<br /><br />So it's an ongoing process from beginning on to talk about these things, name them and apply lessons to the kids' own real lives. You just keep upping the discussions as they get older.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-28419527491497435412013-03-19T09:57:46.034-05:002013-03-19T09:57:46.034-05:00Well said, as always, Julie! As disgusting as the ...Well said, as always, Julie! As disgusting as the rape was, the collective of response repulsed me even more. The number of teens who virtually cheered the actions of the boys makes me want to vomit even now. It is much the same lesson as bullying. If you stand by, if you don't help, if (worse) you continue the vile act by supporting the perpetrators, you are guilty, as well! I teach my children this with bullies and I hope they are hearing me. I hope that they will do better than these kids. And as they grow and get older, I will continue these lessons with sexual acts. I pray that they will be the children I want them to be in these moments.StarTracihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02119043204191845721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-46303276794068707732013-03-19T09:37:34.932-05:002013-03-19T09:37:34.932-05:00This is a really good post. This is a really good post. Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-27889810118593130312013-03-19T09:35:05.577-05:002013-03-19T09:35:05.577-05:00Tamzyn, yes thank you!
Andrea, i heartily agree ...Tamzyn, yes thank you! <br /><br />Andrea, i heartily agree you can start with the seeds for the very young. I have too.<br /><br />Thanks so much Laura!<br /><br />Ilina and Tanis, thanks for sharing and caring!Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-42795949526440887732013-03-18T23:02:09.047-05:002013-03-18T23:02:09.047-05:00I love your list and plan to use it when my pre-te...I love your list and plan to use it when my pre-teen is old enough to consider that sexuality can be both a weapon and a weakness.<br /><br />As a 35yo, I'm impressed how much it was stressed in my "first-year" orientation at college, that ANYONE intoxicated was not capable of legal consent. The kicker... I attended a WOMAN's college. There were no males on campus to hear the spiel. However, years later, the concept resonates. I'm raising 3 kiddos, none quite yet old enough for this conversation, but I'm clearly aware that both my daughters and my son need to hear it. I also know I'll be referring to the in/sensitive coverage of these events for what _all_ can go wrong.Laura in Little Rocknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-41994742138813483452013-03-18T22:40:07.259-05:002013-03-18T22:40:07.259-05:00Excellent post! A great resource for parents on ho...Excellent post! A great resource for parents on how to talk to kids/teens about sexual ethics is Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character, by Pepper Schwartz, PhD. I've been a parent educator and family counselor for a long time, and this is one of my favorite references. Thanks for putting the spotlight in the right place! Tamzynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06937239223173747743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-85769022148780083472013-03-18T13:34:16.406-05:002013-03-18T13:34:16.406-05:00Great post. I have two sons, and though they are v...Great post. I have two sons, and though they are very young, we already talk about treating others how you want to be treated, respect, boundaries etc. We will continue to discuss these things in an age-appropriate manner as they grow up. I think you are right, it comes down to humanity and taking responsibility for actions. The fact the rapists are getting more sympathy on TV news than the victim just makes me feel ill.Andreahttp://mum2beautifulboys.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-58201327813735287062013-03-18T13:18:45.428-05:002013-03-18T13:18:45.428-05:00I've been having an ongoing discussion with my...I've been having an ongoing discussion with my kids (boy and girl) about rape, respect, social media and mob mentality. Thank you for this post. More parents need to have this frank discussion with their kids. Tanis Millerhttp://www.tanismiller.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13083972.post-1945876492629993702013-03-18T12:08:28.492-05:002013-03-18T12:08:28.492-05:00I am the mother of 2 sons. It is my duty as a pare...I am the mother of 2 sons. It is my duty as a parent to talk openly with my sons (when they are older than 9 and 7, granted) about rape, power, violence, and respect. The onus is on the violator, not the victim. Ilinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12517198461895887916noreply@blogger.com