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Showing posts from 2013

If I had to be stuck in a snow globe with a bunch of people...it would be these people and at SeaWorld

Disclosure statement: SeaWorld did not commission this post nor did they compensate me for it. However, I did receive free admission to the park. If I am honest, I do not actually look that forward to December. Oh I try, but I am usually dragged under by endeavoring to make this the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. People can say simplify and say no, which is good advice, but even with a lot of simplification and no-ing, this is still a month that gets to feeling like a 300 pound ape on your chest by oh say December 16. One thing I have grown to look forward to, though, this time of year, is our family's annual trek to SeaWorld San Antonio . It's cool, the park is decked out to the holiday nines, and there are loads of special events. Before that, though, I get to camp out in the park with some people I really, really like. And this is a story best told in pictures...of all the things we did... We started with a Polar Plunge. I know, everyone says blah blah blah Polar Plu

How we teach boys and girls about kissing is all wrong

When my daughter was in kindergarten, a boy friend kissed her. To my mind, both kids were equally a part of the kiss because it was mutual--they were playing Marriage, and had just pretended a wedding. To me, it was play. Nobody grabbed anyone or coerced anyone and nobody felt threatened or worried or bad. They even had a discussion about it in advance and decided cheek would do even if grownups did lips. But others felt differently. The boy's mom was horrified, or maybe terrified? She imposed a severe consequence on him and had the school do the same. She apologized to me and made the boy apologize to my daughter. One thing I know: this lady is a fantastic mom with wonderful kids. One thing I understand: we do have a rape culture and I deeply appreciate boy moms who work hard to teach boys about respect and consideration of girls. One thing I believe: we have to do something to improve how our boys and girls interact. That means effort with both boys and girls. Preferabl

What you really need to tell teens about sexual assault

The Steubenville Ohio rape case  highlighted a huge ugly disturbing gap in our society about rape. Internet outrage erupted about the "drunk girl" and "getting what was deserved." There was a lot of nasty commentary about all the things women and girls need to do to not get raped (as if rape and rapists are completely fair and only go after the deserving). People commented in typical "blame the victim" ways , shamefully and appallingly. It made me fear for humanity. Maybe, possibly, worst of all, major news network CNN reported the case from a distressingly sympathetic view for...the convicted rapists . Reporters Poppy Harlow and Candy Crowley evinced grief about the convicted rapists' lost bright futures. As the brilliant Gawker piece by Mallory Ortberg said: People who commit acts of sexual violence (rape, for example) and are convicted in a court of law are required to register with the national sex offender public registry, so that future

A Place to be Uncertain

In my kitchen cabinet, over the hyperbolically named coffee counter, is a mug. It's a cartoon, with cartoon font, and it says, "I'm 40, I ought to have more money by now." It was given to my husband by his sister, his younger sister, a number of years ago. It was supposed to be a joke, funny. But the only actually funny thing about 40 and beyond is that saying is sort of an ironic mantra. By now, you're supposed to have a lot more of everything: money, patience, perspective, wisdom, answers. Certainty. I walk through each day feeling very I don't know-ish and everyone really looks to me to be quite certain. I answer calls each day to provide something. I want to turn to everyone and ask what I should do, what I should be, is this where I am supposed to be, is this it? Instead each time I turn to ask, instead someone asks me and I realize I am past the asking, as far as phase is concerned. So as much as I feel very much in the thrall of a second adol

Sexting + Sex + Slut Shaming = Looming Catastrophe

Last night, my 11 year old daughter and I were running errands and caught this story on NPR, " Online 'Shaming' A New Level Of Cyberbullying For Girls. " We listened silently  My own internal horror and anger grew with each passing second of the story. This part made the bile raise past the back of my throat: "That's not fair that a guy can actually hide his phone, have sex with you and record you, and then show it to his friends," one girl says. When I was talking to the girl this happened to, she said she didn't know she was being recorded. "I kind of had a feeling that something was wrong, but I didn't want to believe it," she says. At school, she was hoping that it wouldn't be too big of a deal, but even the principal knew about the video. He brought her to his office and called her mom. "I couldn't even look at my mother because I felt hurt and I also felt that I disrespected her," she says. "I didn

The Gift of Generosity Winner: 25 Ways to Share and Pay it Forward

Just before the holidays hit in full swing for our family, I spoke openly about our family's slightly disorganized but nevertheless genuine and effective approach to teaching our kids generosity . I also offered one winner a $50 Razoo Gift of Giving card for the charity of choice (generously donated by Razoo). I used Random.org to identify (randomly and fairly) the winner, and it is.... Candace ! Congratulations, Candace. Candace writes for Naturally Educational , and she shared these tips for teaching generosity in the comments: I recently posted a list of 25 ways to give with young children. Pretty much any volunteering or giving I do at this point involves my children...because almost everything I do involves my children *LOL*.  Every year we...sing/play piano at a home for the elderly, donate toys / stuff stockings, help feed people who are homeless on Thanksgiving, make Valentines for Veterans. Recently we have also, had a beach clean-up with our Daisy troop, or