Loyal hearts are the ones most likely to be broken

"Let's be friends forever -- LYLAS!" has morphed into "Let's be BFFs!" since I was a girl, but the meaning is still the same: young, open hearts feel a swell of emotional connection and want to extend that warm and lovely sense.

Forever, though, is a really different concept from person to person.

My girls take it pretty literally, and do sincerely mean it. I understand this; it's my way too. I don't understand it as a fleeting metaphor. When my girls encounter this, their hearts break and they sob in my arms, "Why does she not want to be my friend any more?"

For now, it is their buddies. In a few years, though, I know it will be something more.

How can you explain to the broken-hearted that one doesn't love more or less but that some others have more of a plural approach to love and friendship, in counter to their more singular approach?

You hug them, bless their lovely loyal hearts, and help piece back together a heart hopefully left stronger and just as open. Let the heart heal, let the head learn.

I watch them this Valentine's Day, eager to give their love in little paper hearts to class friends who are like siblings to them. And I think of ways to tell them every day what beautiful, sweet hearts they have and how putting that much love into the world will be worth it, always.

Life's Mirror

by Madeline S Bridges

There are loyal hearts, there are spirits brave,

There are souls that are pure and true;

Then give to the world the best that you have,

And the best will come back to you.

Give love, and love to your life will flow,

A strength in your utmost need;

Have faith, and a score of hearts will show

Their faith in your work and deed.

Give truth, and your gift will be paid in kind,

And honor will honor meet;

And the smile which is sweet will surely find

A smile that is just as sweet.

Give sorrow and pity to those who mourn;

You will gather in flowers again

The scattered seeds from your thought outborne

Though the sowing seemed but vain.

For life is the mirror of king and slave,

'Tis just what we are and do;

Then give to the world the best that you have

And the best will come back to you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

'Whatever' is not an actual salary and it really doesn't buy the groceries, either

Teaching my girls how to pull the rope for themselves. It was a pretty innocuous mother's club meeting, and we were talking about babysitters. I don't even recall why it came up, the talk about babysitters. Conversation unrolls so organically in these meetings, these times we get together, without children, and get to just talk. But sitters came up in conversation and the turn of that conversation surprised me. Greatly. Apparently around here it's bad manners to quote an hourly rate for one's babysitting services. "You know what gets me?" a mom said, "You know what sitters I prefer? Who I pay the most to? The ones who say 'oh just pay me whatever.'" She went on to explain that (and this is my paraphrase not her exact statement) to her, it came across as very forward, rude even, when these sitters said they charged X dollars per hour. My mind rolled that concept around for a minute: it's cheeky and rude to state upfront how much you charg...

Enough with the Mary Poppins Parenting, All Right?

Note: this post begins with "recently" but it was recent then not now. Then was around March 2012. At some point, someone for some reason reported this post and the platform pulled it down. However, the concept is evergreen so I am republishing it! ________________________________________________________________________________ Recently on Facebook, a friend disgustedly posted another "how French parents are better" article (this one cruelly about how French kids have less ADHD and it's because the French parents are BETTER -- or so it read to a lot of parents dealing with this situation in their own families, and boy do I understand that POV). She was appalled, we were all mainly appalled. Though there was a slight thread of "maybe there's a point here...how can we have so much more?" running through it. Feeling insecure about your parenting is pretty de rigeur for parents, I think. We are raising a person who will go out into the world, rep...

Restaurant Trauma in Texas: How eating out prompted a really uncomfortable lesson about culture

WARNING: This is NOT a family-friendly post, aka the warning I WISH I'd gotten yesterday before I walked in. Yesterday was a Holiday. I hope you heard the scare quotes around that. Yeah, when you are an adult here is how holidays work: you, same workload as always, kids WOO HOO NO SCHOOL FREEDOM. Do the equation. The result is the day I had yesterday. If math isn't your strong suit I'm pretty sure you can still add that up but just in case let's say the highlight of the afternoon included me dumping out the mismatched sock basket and telling the children to have at it, in a way very reminiscent of Miss Hannigan of Annie . Anyway luckily I've taught my kids that Chores are Fun! and they had a good time. Later, I cranked up the fun-o-meter on a bank errand by dropping in the Halloween store to check out costumes, and upped the ante on "Mom needs new running shoes" by tacking on a "Hey let's eat out at a restaurant!" My husband was able to join ...

Julie Pippert: Using My Words

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