Loyal hearts are the ones most likely to be broken

"Let's be friends forever -- LYLAS!" has morphed into "Let's be BFFs!" since I was a girl, but the meaning is still the same: young, open hearts feel a swell of emotional connection and want to extend that warm and lovely sense.

Forever, though, is a really different concept from person to person.

My girls take it pretty literally, and do sincerely mean it. I understand this; it's my way too. I don't understand it as a fleeting metaphor. When my girls encounter this, their hearts break and they sob in my arms, "Why does she not want to be my friend any more?"

For now, it is their buddies. In a few years, though, I know it will be something more.

How can you explain to the broken-hearted that one doesn't love more or less but that some others have more of a plural approach to love and friendship, in counter to their more singular approach?

You hug them, bless their lovely loyal hearts, and help piece back together a heart hopefully left stronger and just as open. Let the heart heal, let the head learn.

I watch them this Valentine's Day, eager to give their love in little paper hearts to class friends who are like siblings to them. And I think of ways to tell them every day what beautiful, sweet hearts they have and how putting that much love into the world will be worth it, always.

Life's Mirror

by Madeline S Bridges

There are loyal hearts, there are spirits brave,

There are souls that are pure and true;

Then give to the world the best that you have,

And the best will come back to you.

Give love, and love to your life will flow,

A strength in your utmost need;

Have faith, and a score of hearts will show

Their faith in your work and deed.

Give truth, and your gift will be paid in kind,

And honor will honor meet;

And the smile which is sweet will surely find

A smile that is just as sweet.

Give sorrow and pity to those who mourn;

You will gather in flowers again

The scattered seeds from your thought outborne

Though the sowing seemed but vain.

For life is the mirror of king and slave,

'Tis just what we are and do;

Then give to the world the best that you have

And the best will come back to you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Restaurant Trauma in Texas: How eating out prompted a really uncomfortable lesson about culture

WARNING: This is NOT a family-friendly post, aka the warning I WISH I'd gotten yesterday before I walked in. Yesterday was a Holiday. I hope you heard the scare quotes around that. Yeah, when you are an adult here is how holidays work: you, same workload as always, kids WOO HOO NO SCHOOL FREEDOM. Do the equation. The result is the day I had yesterday. If math isn't your strong suit I'm pretty sure you can still add that up but just in case let's say the highlight of the afternoon included me dumping out the mismatched sock basket and telling the children to have at it, in a way very reminiscent of Miss Hannigan of Annie . Anyway luckily I've taught my kids that Chores are Fun! and they had a good time. Later, I cranked up the fun-o-meter on a bank errand by dropping in the Halloween store to check out costumes, and upped the ante on "Mom needs new running shoes" by tacking on a "Hey let's eat out at a restaurant!" My husband was able to join ...

First it was cocktails and now it's marijuana?

Oh wouldn't Meredith Vieira love to get her graspy judgmental paws on this one: " I'm a Better Mother When Stoned ," by LJ Wilson (pseudonym) currently up at Babble (along with caveat that Babble doesn't endorse alcohol or illegal drug use while parenting). The only problem is I'm afraid I might end up nodding along with her as she rasps out a smug and self-righteous snarky comment that slams all parents who toke a dubie while parenting. Wilson writes I've been a weekend pot smoker since I was about eighteen. As a new mother, I continued the indulgence, but only when I was out and my son had a babysitter. I swore I'd never be stoned around my kid. And that plan worked for two and a half years, right up until one morning when my toddler waged a concerted campaign to fray each of my nerves. Wow. My first moment of disbelief was that it took two and a half years for her child to fray her nerves . That's some laid back well-behaved kid! Or some laid ...

Enough with the Mary Poppins Parenting, All Right?

Note: this post begins with "recently" but it was recent then not now. Then was around March 2012. At some point, someone for some reason reported this post and the platform pulled it down. However, the concept is evergreen so I am republishing it! ________________________________________________________________________________ Recently on Facebook, a friend disgustedly posted another "how French parents are better" article (this one cruelly about how French kids have less ADHD and it's because the French parents are BETTER -- or so it read to a lot of parents dealing with this situation in their own families, and boy do I understand that POV). She was appalled, we were all mainly appalled. Though there was a slight thread of "maybe there's a point here...how can we have so much more?" running through it. Feeling insecure about your parenting is pretty de rigeur for parents, I think. We are raising a person who will go out into the world, rep...

Julie Pippert: Using My Words

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