Monday, February 14, 2011

Loyal hearts are the ones most likely to be broken

"Let's be friends forever -- LYLAS!" has morphed into "Let's be BFFs!" since I was a girl, but the meaning is still the same: young, open hearts feel a swell of emotional connection and want to extend that warm and lovely sense.

Forever, though, is a really different concept from person to person.

My girls take it pretty literally, and do sincerely mean it. I understand this; it's my way too. I don't understand it as a fleeting metaphor. When my girls encounter this, their hearts break and they sob in my arms, "Why does she not want to be my friend any more?"

For now, it is their buddies. In a few years, though, I know it will be something more.

How can you explain to the broken-hearted that one doesn't love more or less but that some others have more of a plural approach to love and friendship, in counter to their more singular approach?

You hug them, bless their lovely loyal hearts, and help piece back together a heart hopefully left stronger and just as open. Let the heart heal, let the head learn.

I watch them this Valentine's Day, eager to give their love in little paper hearts to class friends who are like siblings to them. And I think of ways to tell them every day what beautiful, sweet hearts they have and how putting that much love into the world will be worth it, always.

by Madeline S Bridges

There are loyal hearts, there are spirits brave,
There are souls that are pure and true;
Then give to the world the best that you have,
And the best will come back to you.

Give love, and love to your life will flow,
A strength in your utmost need;
Have faith, and a score of hearts will show
Their faith in your work and deed.

Give truth, and your gift will be paid in kind,
And honor will honor meet;
And the smile which is sweet will surely find
A smile that is just as sweet.

Give sorrow and pity to those who mourn;
You will gather in flowers again
The scattered seeds from your thought outborne
Though the sowing seemed but vain.

For life is the mirror of king and slave,
'Tis just what we are and do;
Then give to the world the best that you have
And the best will come back to you.

Happy Valentine's Day!


annie said...

My daughter takes the shifting sands of little girl friendships very hard as well. This year has been particularly stressful and aside from a shoulder, I don't have much to offer.

Julie Pippert said...

I know Annie. Two hearts break even if he kids don't really know it yet. I did notice that American Girl has some nice book and journal series, one in particular about friendships. I saw them when getting The Body Book for Girls. I grabbed the Feelings Journal and my daughter has loved that. I'm a big fan of journaling so I can write on and on. My daughter? Not so much. This one asks questions and has lots of prompts and fill in the blanks. I like it a lot. She loves it.

It kind of goes along with these things Rosalind Wiseman recommended to me once about teaching my daughter to be mindful in her friendships.

Anyway, just something other than a shoulder to consider...