Julie Pippert: Using My Words

Life is a study in discord, chaos and catastrophe right now. I have developed a habit of breaking things down, one by one, in my mind so that they don't seem overwhelming to my head. I have not mastered this skill for my heart. My heart murmurs quietly inside my chest, its demure speechlessness no match for the big voice of my mind. It's so easy to listen to directive and solid words, thought out loud or stuck inside to rattle around my skull. It's harder to stop and let the heart have its say, simply feel. I find myself flailing, crying out in a childish and needy voice, "Hear me, HEAR ME, I am lost in this mess, but it is my job to guide everyone out and clear it up." Except I do not use such precise and clear language. Instead, like my children, I focus on the minute and concrete, "What a mess! We need to tidy up the playroom!" "Who left these shoes in the center of the hall? They need to be in the shoe shelf!" "Markers and crayons nee...

Yesterday I got angry. I got very, very, very angry and because it is rainy and cold outside, and I had my kids, I didn't go for a jog a la Sophie . Instead I joined in that time-honored traditional outlet: venting with my friends, most of whom are also very, very, very angry. It's about our kids. And school. It's difficult to talk too much about specifics now because of things that are or may be happening (or not), some things that require investigation and open-minded talking, and a careful think-through of how I should proceed. And it's frustrating to feel gagged at the moment, when I do so like words to flow with impunity and freedom. ;) The important thing about the talks I had with my friends yesterday and the other talks over the course of this week is that I have some excellent, constructive ideas and a plan of action. As more than one friend suggested I do, I'm going to collect the myriad of posts I've written about my school concerns and put them toget...

(photo credit to Backflip ) In elementary school, we had music class every day. I looked forward to that period most of all. In music class it was okay to sing and hum---in fact it was encouraged!---and we got to stand. Plus sometimes the teacher organized little bands and somebody got to bang a tambourine or the sticks, and somebody may even have gotten to pipe on the recorder. We learned sad songs, slow songs, fast songs, and funny songs. My favorites were Waltzing Matilda and Senor Don Gato was a Cat . I sing these songs with my kids, now. We learned about rhyming and meter and prose---well before official language arts classes. We learned about fractions, timing, and scales---well before official math classes. In fourth grade, if you so chose, you could select an instrument. I did so choose and I selected the viola. I'd wanted the cello but arguments ensued and the viola was the compromise. I knew I wanted something with a rich and deep tonal potential, not a squeaky violin, a...

When it comes to sexual harassment, everybody---especially lawyers and juries and panels and so forth---wants to hear about the big egregious examples. However, those big things are usually so obviously and clearly wrong that even a person in the middle of the situation knows it is wrong, not okay. That's not usually the part that hurts the most, although it's the part that gets the most attention. The problem with the big things, when you are in the situation, is figuring out how to handle it. We're all cautioned to be nice, but women especially are taught and reinforced to be kind and thoughtful, sometimes to their own detriment. I don't want to go off on a tangent and talk too much about what modern American and similar cultures tell women about who they are supposed to be and how that---as well-meaning as it usually is---can often be the very tool that abusers and harassers use. But I will say that we---culture, society and parent---can unintentionally teach our dau...

Once upon a time I had a hellish job. I was harassed so egregiously that it earned me a large settlement check, three straight months off due to PTSD, and intensive therapy. My story was so compelling that the therapist turned it into a book, which is probably a movie produced by Quentin Tarantino now. That's how ghastly that job was. I am largely Over It in some respects---I can speak to men again and have managed to work in an office---but a small ugly, bitter part of me isn't fully past it and hopes to hades that karma has visited the perpetrators in dreadful covered-in-honey-on-an-anthill sort of way. I'm bloodthirsty like that at times. The worst thing about being abused and harassed and why people let it go on in many cases is because the perpetrator convinces you to convince yourself that it is all your fault. And I had. I am generally a fair and open-minded person with an over-developed sense of personal responsibility, thus I had convinced myself that I was somehow...

Friday a.m. My dog began acting so oddly I was concerned enough to call the vet. They squeezed me in for the morning appointment and I called my friend to take Persistence, and completely dropped everything planned for the morning. HIGH: Haven't thought of one yet. LOW: Dog is sick and my day was shot. noon After a thorough examination by the vet, the dog is declared to have tumors and we get an immediate referral to a surgeon. HIGH: The location of the tumor gives a hopeful possibility that it is benign, or at least not the most aggressive cancer. The vet is highly entertained by my story about Fuqua (that's Few KWAY not fuck WA) Street confusion. He said that story beats his former non-native favorite which was Bexar (that's BEAR not BEX arr) County confusion. LOW: My doggie is sick. My doggie needs surgery. My doggie is uncomfortable. My beautiful chocolate only 7 years old Lab might have cancer. And we are going to have to schedule surgery, which probably costs as...

It's not a secret that I'm a fan of Big Head Todd and the Monsters . I've been happily enjoying their new album, All the Love You Need , pretty much every day. You can download it for free or pay $5 for for it. It's a pretty awesome album, so consider paying. :) It's free because Big Head Todd and the Monsters, who were at the forefront of using the Internet to share music, believe art should be free and available. As a poor "artist," I'm both on board and railing against that notion. In a different post, I'll explain why. This post is a recommendation of that album, specifically by sampling two of the songs I like best off of it. The first song is All the Love You Need . Of course I hope all of you enjoy the song. All the Love You Need Diamonds are forever, but people are like little flowers Diamonds are forever, but people are like little flowers Growing in the crash of the loud traffic noise of desperate western relationships Past life regressi...

We were in the kitchen, Persistence and I. We'd just gotten home from the store and I was unpacking groceries, cold things first. Yogurt, milk, cheese, cream cheese, butter...all dairy, all real, all organic. All packed in my eco-friendly reusable net bag. Persistence was sitting at the table, happily eating yogurt, one of the new ones. We were both happy. I was happy to see the healthy food and know we made good choices for under budget, yes, self-satisfied and congratulatory, not to mention pleased and relieved that Persistence had been so well-behaved (in fact a delight) at the store, garnering rare comments of approval and adoration...instead of the usual narrow-eyed glances of annoyance. Persistence was happy because she loves to eat, especially fresh food just home from the store, all the things she saw us load into the cart, that perhaps she herself chose, but has only been able to look at and long for, until now, at home, when I served her a bowl of fresh whole milk vanilla...

Books. Today is a day to read . I'm not sure how this is different from any other day for me but I'll seize any opportunity to talk about books. So, instead of trading iPod Top 25 music lists, let's trade "Reading" and "Must Read lists." Because my list could go on for days, I'll limit it to books currently on my nightstand. 1. The book I just finished and can't put away yet because I loved it that much, the absolutely brilliant Must-Read: (Click on the image to go see a sample chapter and reviews.) Synopsis It's a winter evening in Boston and the temperature has drastically dropped as a blizzard approaches the city. On this fateful night, Bernard Doyle plans to meet his two adopted sons, Tip the older, and more serious and Teddy, the affectionate dreamer, at a Harvard auditorium to hear a speech given by Jesse Jackson. Doyle, an Irish Catholic and former Boston mayor, has done his best to keep his two sons interested in politics, from the da...

There are many people to admire and who inspire. Historical people, famous people, revolutionaries, and peacemakers. When I think of who I admire, I often tend to think of women since they are frequently my role models and inspiration, especially now, since having children. When I sat down to think who I should profile, I came up with several versions of this post. I like them all but had a difficult time choosing. Should it be someone I know personally? A family member, such as my husband? My children? Someone from current or past times in my life? Or from the pages of news or history? In the end, it came down to feeling the best about profiling two people who are, so to speak, in my ballpark. I know them personally, they figure in my life currently, and I admire so much about them. Let me see if I can make you feel the love, too. ************************************************************************************** She's turned 40 now, not the first of our group of friends but no...