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Secret Agent Man...What do you do out of paranoia?


I've got my eye on you...but do I mean you or do you mean me?

Okay this "what weird paranoid thing do you do?" has turned into a fun conversation with friends.

First to mind, my largest weird paranoid thing I do is get all Maxwell Smartt secretive about using my debit card and PIN number.

I pay cash (read: debit card) everywhere. This means I have to key in my PIN.

There is no visual or sound privacy. Have you noticed that?

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP it screams for each number I press.

And what is with everyone crowding you in line? Are they trying to spy on me? Personal space people. Keying in a PIN is like voting. R-E-S-P-E-C-T the privacy!

So like a junior at the SAT, I sort of cup my hand for semi-privacy and fake press numbers so in case someone is watching, or trying to snap a photo with a cell phone camera, they won't know the numbers I press.

This is my security measure.

I will continue to fake you out. I take pleasure in this game, apparently. Stick it to the man, man!

A friend who understands this reminded me about checking the ATM for false fronts.

Okay...start making Dateline, 20/20, tinfoil, black helicopter, and paranoia jokes now.

Although actually, I count on CSI for my crime-prevention tips.

Next time, let's talk sheets, blankets and pillows as Personal Protection Devices from monsters, real and Inc.

By Julie Pippert
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