So as it turns out I am not that great of a juggler. I sort of figured as much when---upon considering subsequent education after graduating high school---I immediately struck off clown college. Not only couldn't I juggle but I really can't stand clowns. It's not fear, it's something else. I get to see a lot of clowns as a parent and every time, I think they sense my whatever-it-is feeling that is a lot short of "YEA! a CLOWN! Woo hoo! I LOVE clowns! They're so FUN!"
I don't like them and they know it. They smell it or see it in my eyes, no matter how jovial or polite an act I put on.
Patience is the same, I think. I can see it in her eyes.
I hope no boyfriend ever takes her to the circus.
One time I was dating this guy and he planned what should have been---would have been for any other woman---a fabulous date: the circus.
I was horrified. Seriously.
Trapped animals caged, then brought out and whipped at for my entertainment plus crowds plus clowns = Julie's Fourth Worst Date Ever. (Feel free to ask about the top three at any time, but I'll warn you---it took my husband 15 years to pry the number one worst one out of me, and that makes him person number five on the planet who has ever heard the story. For the record, it is funny not tragic, although I spent my entire senior year of high school feeling definitively on the edge of tragic about it, as, I'm sure, did the boy---if our managing to avoid speaking to or making eye contact with one another for an entire year is any indication. And that? Is the end of the hints.)
So there I sat, at the second worst date in my life up to that point, at the circus, being hounded by the masses and clowns.
"He doesn't know me at all," I thought, "I'm just some idea to him. This relationship is never going to work."
Yeah, I was right, even if I did perhaps simply fulfill my own prophecy. He was nice and all and I bet has made someone a fantastic husband. Someone who likes the circus, I hope.
Because I don't---not the performing animals, nor the clowns. I don't limit my dislike to circus clowns, either, it's really any sort of clown, including unofficial ones or mimes. All that jollying about in painted faces.
Maybe that's it: all that fake joviality.
Clowns. Hmm. I may not like them because they are the walking embodiment of the fakey fake nice and happy act I feel a constant pressure to put on.
So clown school was off the list. Although upon reflection, perhaps that was hasty. I may be giving away the milk for free on that one.
Racing school was, ironically, a little slower to get marked off the list.
And those are seriously the very odd things I think sometimes.
So now that I've confessed to being utterly out of stride with the rest of the world with regard to what is considered fun and funny...
I've been out of stride with reading and commenting to blogs, hence the opening line about juggling.
I'm sure other people live simpler lives because they choose to, and I'm sure I could (a) simplify my life and (b) simplify my thinking if I wanted to but clearly I don't really prefer it. I imagine I'll live a nice long life due to my love of drama and inability to leave until I know the very end. I want a lot out of things and by golly if I don't get a little richness here and there due to that.
But it also means that everyone in my life sees a bit of a blur of me sometimes.
There are calls to me in other areas of my life just now that mean I read in Reader but rarely have the time to click through and comment as I'd like. I read, I mark "keep unread" and I save, most of all, I care. I am sure this summer will bring long lazy (read: desperate) days in which I hound you to write more, please, dear God, I beg you.
I hope this doesn't mean you'll forsake the Hump Day Hmm. I will read all the Hump Day Hmms and comment and hope you will too.
I've been feeling a little err verklempt (?) about the Hmms lately so I want to up the ante and get as many people as possible (you did get a week's notice!) to participate.
The Topic: Walking out of stride---how do you walk out of stride, or do you? What's it mean to you? (Click here to read my post about it.)
The Mission: Write your own post, link here, and add your link to the link list for others to follow and read. Due tomorrow, Wednesday.
The Reward: Feeling good about it all. Okay okay fungible, tangible, whatever. A GIVEAWAY! One clown or funny book coming the way of one lucky winner, drawn from the list of Hump Day Hmm participants. I'll let the winner choose between clown or funny (yes, they are distinct to me).
And if you are interested in following me virtually, I am, as always at MOMocrats and Moms Speak Up. If you haven't been by MSU lately (or ever) come by. We've got that ball rolling with some fabulous new contributors....some of whom you know.
Copyright 2008 Julie Pippert
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