Thursday, September 16, 2010

How the Tooth Fairy Got His Groove Back


Okay...how many times have I written about the Great Tooth Fairy Conundrum?

Frankly, my husband and I sort of stink at Special and On the Ball. Someone once told me how they have stockpiles of Tooth Fairy prizes, at the ready, just in case. Someone else once said they have gold dollars that come from the Tooth Fairy. Another person has a special treasure chest for teeth. Our Tooth Fairy gets frantic texts messages, "OMG get off tollway NOW!! LOST TOOTH!! Must have WEBKIN, preference PINK and CUTE, nothing from OCEAN!!!!!!!!!!"

Then said Tooth Fairy has Webkin in hand (do not EVEN ask how the Webkin precedent got set, suffice it to say...LESSON LEARNED!) and said Tooth Fairy and his ahem colleague, aka the Assistant Tooth Fairy, are tired from a long day of tooth business and tend to sort of collapse right around Tooth Fairy time.

Then around 2 a.m. the Assistant Tooth Fairy tends to wake up in the middle of a heart attack, pokes the Tooth Fairy hard and hisses, "WE FORGOT! You must CREEP QUIETLY and DO NOT WAKE THE CHILD and GET THAT TOOTH and somehow with God on our side you'll be able to get the Webkin in WITH NO WAKING!"

The Tooth Fairy moans and grunts and hauls himself out of bed by swinging his legs off so the momentum carries the rest of him up and off too. He reaches down, gets the bag with the prize in it, and rustles it out.

The Assistant Tooth Fairy hisses again, "SHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Our next door neighbors can hear you that was so loud!"

The Tooth Fairy grunts, and, with Webkin in hand, slinks down the hallway in an erratic pattern to avoid the creaky spots. The Assistant Tooth Fairy helps by hanging on the door frame and hissing directions with frantic hand signals.

Assistant Tooth Fairy: hand slash across throat

Tooth Fairy, "Wha...?"

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "Shhhhh!!!" slash hand up, curve over to the right

Tooth Fairy, "Wha...?"

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "SHHHHHHHH!!!!" left hand yanks on tooth in mouth, sets fingers into palm of right hand, closes right hand, left hand with big face gestures to indicate lifting something, right hand pokes hard at air under whatever left hand is holding up, big gestures back and right

Tooth Fairy, "Seriously Jules, what the heck?"

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "She tucked it into a tissue and put it way back at the back under the pillow on the right side!!"

Tooth Fairy, "Where her HEAD is?"

Assistant Tooth Fairy: Frantic nodding

Tooth Fairy, "Oh for cra..."

Assistant Tooth Fairy cuts in, "Shhhh, language!"

Tooth Fairy, "She's asleep!"

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "For now!"

Tooth Fairy, "Who came up with this harebrained scheme of sticking teeth under a pillow? I'd like to stick something..."

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "I mean it! Kvetch LATER!"

With a delicacy and patience the Assistant Tooth Fairy envies mightily, the Tooth Fairy gently lifts the corner of the pillow, finds the tooth, and lays the prize in place.

The two skulk back down the hall.

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "This is why you earn the big bucks, Tooth Fairy. Once again! Master of tooth extraction and prize placement."

The Tooth Fairy waves to the cheering crowd.

Tooth Fairy, "But seriously, we have got to remember better next time. I'll never get back to sleep and I have to be up in an hour and a half anyway. Work is going to stink tomorrow."

Assistant Tooth Fairy, "Tell me about it. I'm sure my adrenaline rush will deflate right about kid waking time."

And now? Now we have TWO CHILDREN at Tooth Fairy stage.

And now? I can tell you how I know it's true that Jesus loves me.

Right about the same time my almost six year old tells me her lower front tooth is getting loose and will I please tell the Tooth Fairy she'd prefer the moose (or whatever), I get an email about Tooth Fairy pillows from this lady representing Sorrisi Decor.

Would I be interested in a sample of a tooth fairy pillow? Oh yes I would!

Hey, also, by the way, 50% of the profits go to Medical Teams International to send teams of dental professionals sent to areas around the world in great need (currently Liberia and Mali) to provide better health through dental care.

The Tooth Fairy likes it! Lots and lots.

Okay the pillows are adorable, I mean a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e! I love them, the kids love them, they are rally great quality, and there are styles for every personality (personalizing with names is an option too!). My friend who has a kids' boutique saw them and wants them for her shop. My dentist saw them and wants them for his patients. It's not a matter of are they awesome. They are. It's a matter of how they improve the Tooth Fairy's existence.

The Tooth Fairy and his assistant are altering the whole "tooth under the pillow" scheme. Now, the tooth will go in the pillow's pouch, the pillow will sit outside the bedroom door (visual reminder) and the prize will go in the pillow's pocket.

Life is good. And so are the tooth fairy pillows. See?

A lovely nature one for my nature girl Patience and a sassy Diva one for my little princess Persistence:
























You know me, I'm in communications with a heavy emphasis on promotion and so I have all of these standards, ethics, and complex rules I follow about doing promotion and review posts. I usually say "thanks but no thanks" to like 99.8% of pitches I receive. I have to be emotionally fascinated. It has to be good, do good, add good. This product hit that criteria for me. I did receive a free sample of the product (which I require before reviewing) but was under no obligation to write about it or hoof my way around the town, online or offline, rave reviewing this product. All of this is voluntary, and my own words and opinions. All 100% true.

5 comments:

Kris Underwood said...

My 6 year old girl saw these and was like...eh.

Yolanda said...

Loved the Tooth Fairy story, especially all the hissing.

Kyla said...

Those are very cute! The Tooth Fairy does not take teeth here (after BubTar cried bitterly after "selling" his first tooth to the Tooth Fairy and Santa had to get it back) and she only deals in cash. We only need to keep $1 on hand for lost teeth emergencies. KayTar has lost SEVEN teeth already and her EIGHTH is loose!

Once, the Tooth Fairy forgot to put money under the pillow...but in the morning I was able to "help" KayTar find that dollar with a slight of hand. ;)

Mary G said...

So glad you found the pillows - they really save a lot of panic. Although my younger daughter once swallowed a tooth. She was trying to put it back in the hole to see if it would fit and she choked and swallowed it.
We left the tooth fairy a note explaining what had happened and in the morning daughter's dollar was there.
I once knew a woman who had and wore a necklace made out of her children's baby teeth.
Oook.

StarTraci said...

Those are cute and I love that they do good.

When I was a little girl, I had a tooth pillow and we just found it after a huge clean-out at my parents' house. So cool.
:-)
Traci