Trip to fulfillment

At some point over the last week a terrible knot finally unraveled inside me and I became a woman who could smile, laugh and enjoy life again...and so did the rest of the family:


If you can laugh at yourself and have a good time, you can take your kids on a duck tour they'll talk about for the rest of the trip...and even quack along the way.


When the weather is fine, you can run alongside a pond racing swans and then stop to admire them...or try to see how it is that they poop and pee (if you're under 6).


Everything that goes up is for climbing, especially trees.


Oh yes we did, you know it baby! Wicked good cannolis. It was here---at Mike's, sitting crammed next to other tiny tables---that we had a great conversation with another couple, some grandparents, and I realized one of the things I miss so much about MA is how much people there like kids. People aren't rolling their eyes in aggravation, "Oh here comes kids," like they are a fatal, communicable disease, or sighing resignedly. They aren't making snotty comments, or casting judgemental looks our way, as in, "Can't you keep those kids from being, well, such kids?" They're smiling indulgently, or even joyfully and enjoyingly, sometimes even remarking happily.

And moms, nursing, in public! You, at the park, the museum, the restaurant, anywhere and everywhere...you go, girl!

I also realized how much I missed the friendliness of close quarters. When in the city, in small spaces, you don't tend to ignore one another. I met some of the greatest people across the five inches between tables in Boston and Cambridge restaurants.


On a vacation, when you're having fun, you just might meet a new person by backing into him as you each snap a ridiculous amount of photos trying to capture Fanueil and Quincy at night. On vacation, when you're having fun, this new person might offer to take a photo of your family. On vacation, when you're having fun, you don't have to take anything seriously.


Regardless of relaxed protocol on vacation, one must always dress for the occasion. And pose with creatures one fell in love with while there.


Be the bee, no, be the bee queen.


Monkeys found their place on Boston Common. We never actually lived in Boston proper. Jon worked there, but I never did. We spent a lot of time in the city, though. I had forgotten how much black everyone wears, and how it makes the city look so coordinated. I had also forgotten how young people in the city are on the whole. I had not forgotten how many families there are. We got to see a playgroup in action at the playground.


One word: WTF?


I knew I had monkeys, but a mountain goat...that was a happy surprise. We went back to the White Mountains, a place we had been many times before for hiking, eating, enjoying, shopping, horse events, and so forth, and loved mucho. I mean, geez louise, it's the White Mountains, what's not to love?


If you ask the kids, they'll say this was the trip highlight, and I bet you wouldn't be surprised. If you asked us, we might say the same thing, and then you could color all of us surprised. Storyland. Geez. But yeah, we cut loose and rode every single solitary ride, yelled all the magic words, fixed the butterflies, ate caramel and candied apples, with jimmies on them (geez), and made ourselves sick on the spinning turtles. It was fun. I know, I had fun at a theme park.


Everyone always asks, "Do you miss the seasons?" I'm sorry, that's like asking, "Do you miss breathing?" DUH, do I miss the seasons. YES, YES I MISS THE SEASONS!

Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

...

I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy here
But this is where we used to live

You know, this song nails it.

Yeah, nothing was perfect, nothing ever is, but we had some really key life years there, in MA. We had some great times, yeah, some tough ones too, that's life. It was a real time, a growing time, an evolving time. As my husband put it, the first five years were like one extended holiday. No kids, plenty of time and money, and we traveled all over New England---and the world.

We lived it to the fullest...made the most of it. I think that is the main point, you know? We were in a place we loved, I mean loved, and we made the most of it. I promise you, we got more out of New England, saw more of it, did more, in the years we lived there than some people who spend a lifetime there do. Plus, it's where we grew up, turned from young adults into grown-ups, had our kids. That's intensity, you know? Big emotional memories.

And it's always easier to look back fondly, especially on a time that had so much good in it.

However, I felt surprisingly unsentimental about this beach, our private town beach. I think most of our best memories were on Singing Beach, where we spent more time. I felt surprisingly unsentimental about our little town, in fact, and our old house, all of which we visited. Our little town had changed so much, anyway, even before we moved. It had turned into something that was no longer us, which is one of the reasons, I think, we began thinking about leaving it. I felt more sentimental about the bigger town, Beverly, and was surprised by the rush of sentimentality I felt for Salem and Marblehead. With time and distance, I realized that during our last years in MA, our best times were in these places, instead.

In a way, this trip provided some closure. Also, clarity.

But as we got to the airport to return, neither of us could bring ourselves to say "going home." We kept saying, "back to Houston."

What I hope is that we find our place, somehow, whether it's here, there or anywhere. A place that isn't an extended good time holiday, or a perfect family location, on paper. A place that feels like home.

So, we're back. Here, where we live. And we're feeling fine because we just had a great vacation, where we enjoyed ourselves, to the fullest.

Copyright 2007 Julie Pippert
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