Julie Pippert: Using My Words

Isn't this cake awesome---too pretty to cut? Patience was extremely approving as it looked, "just like my picture!" Nevertheless, I managed to cut and serve it and wow, it was delicious. Carrot cake with real cream cheese frosting (as per Patience's instructions). Of course. What other kind of cake would you have for a Peter Rabbit? (For those of you who do not live in the subtropics, you are probably thinking this is a fake-out. Nope. This was really yesterday, it was really 80 degrees, we were all really wearing tanks, tees and shorts, and sweating. The humidity did break halfway through the party, thank goodness, and a cool, refreshing breeze started. Locals...back me up please.) We had a ginormous bouncy castle (literally, with spires and everything). This is a brilliant invention, and I wish I had one in my backyard every day. It was delivered at shortly past 7 a.m. As you can imagine, Jon and I were model examples of Up With Parenting! at that hour. The girls we...

Part 1: How I resemble the Grinch Every One in the world liked Christmas a lot... But Julie Pippert, who lived south of Houston, Did NOT! Julie hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that the month was simply too small. For, you see, when the month of December rolled round, She had birthdays and parties and demands abound. Buy plates, hats, gifts, and balloons. The guests are all coming, the party's too soon! Her head spun in circles, she looked quite a fright, Mopping and sweeping, polishing her home perfectly right. Juggling Christmas and Birthdays should be a joy, But all Julie could say, with a sigh, was, 'Oh boy!' She struggled to execute every single detail, Endlessly rechecking her phone and email. It seems RSVPs are in short supply this time of year, She had no clue at all who meant to come here. Not to mention the holiday open house and ...

It's true. I had a birthday. I turned a year older, a year closer to leaving my 30s behind. Believe it or not, I'm okay. I have this thing I do with my birthday year. When the new year flips, I flip my age. I realize that's almost a year in advance, but this way I am well-used to the age by the time I actually turn it. And I got used to it while knowing I was actually a year younger. I will, if asked, admit to the older age. This makes my husband crazy. He feels compelled---despite more than fifteen years of negative consequences for doing so---to correct me, "Well, she's not actually 29, only 28, she'll turn 29 in November." Now everyone is uncomfortable, except him, who has gotten the Truth Out. I feel like a liar and am compelled to explain to the other person who doesn't care one iota about it, although no matter what, the other person likely thinks I'm a freak. I'm okay with that. I release my annoyance by slugging my husband in the should...