Julie Pippert: Using My Words

Yesterday, after an admirably long run of successfully avoiding April Fool's Day pranks, I got punk'd but good by Hollywood. I went to go see the new movie for kids: Hop . Ha ha Hollywood, you really tricked me with your great cast lineup, all of whom had me totally fooled that they'd never do anything except creative and clever cinema. I was lulled into a false sense of security between that and the Toy Story series. That's the best con, you know: get to know your mark, build a sense of trust and then WHAMMO! I fell for it! You got me with your con of "worthwhile artistic cinema." Friday afternoon, I made one of those infamous "it seemed like a great idea at the time" decisions. I joined a group of friends and we took a gaggle (honestly, it was a gaggle -- I lost count at the sheer number; I know I brought four and it seems as if everyone else brought about that many too) of kids to see Hop . If you have kids, you probably won't be able to avo...

SCENE I. Elsinore. A platform bed in the master bedroom. MOM and DAD modestly under covers. DAD Who's there? MOM Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself. DAD 'Tis now struck twelve; get thee to bed, child-o. Exit Child 1 MOM Well, good night. If you do hear or see another one, The rivals of my sleep, bid them make haste. DAD I think I hear them. Stand, ho! Who's there? Enter CHILD 1 and CHILD 2 CHILD 1 Tis us, fair father, Friends to this bed. CHILD 2 And liegemen to our fair mother, bearer of us and our not so fair antics. MOM Give you good night. ( to DAD: : And not in our bed, ho! ) DAD What, has this thing appear'd again to-night? MOM I have seen nothing. ( to DAD: : Ignore those specters and they shall return from whence they came. ) DAD Mom says 'tis but my fantasy, And will not let belief take hold of her Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us: Therefore I have entreated her along With us to watch the minutes of thi...

Ed is making me do a "six odd things about myself" post. Ed can't really make me do things, but then again, clearly he can compel me since (a) I like Ed and (b) I'm avoiding the laundry (again). Also I've lost track of times I've been tagged in the last six months and I thought maybe if I did this and sent it out with due respect to everyone who has tagged me and was utterly, rudely ignored by me, you might forgive me. Just a little. The meme originally asked for six random things, but I don't believe there are random characteristics, only odd or quirky ones that perhaps you don't know. So here we go: 1. If you are driving on the road with me I PROBABLY HATE YOU. Most likely, you annoy me and your driving sucks and I will say so through my words and hand gestures, which have, in fact, come back to haunt me on those occasions when we pull into the same parking lot and I discover you are my daughter's classmate's parent, a coworker, a buddy, or ...

Contestant Kady Malloy poses on the tarmac in Santa Monica. ( Photo Credit: Timothy White, Fox Photo, American Idol. ) February 21, 2008 By Julie Pippert HOUSTON -- After last night's American Idol women's competition, 5.3 million teens boys from around the United States decided to move to Oklahoma and Texas. "Oklahoma and Texas seem to be the epicenters of hotness in girls," said Shane Smith, 17, leader of the group Boys Just Want to Have Fun, "We're young---our average member age is 17---and we like hot girls. We also like music. So the only logical thing to do is move to Oklahoma and Texas, where there seem to be a lot of hot girls who can sing. American Idol opened our eyes to this." Smith and the Boys Just Want to Have Fun members wrote and signed a manifesto citing Texan Kelly Clarkson and Oklahoman Carrie Underwood as their major inspiration. "Kelly Clarkson said one time in an interview that she was not the hottest thing growing up, that m...