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You passive guys ROCK! You are what makes this country PROUD!

My friend who I like to quote so often and who nominated me for Perfect Post so I love her FOREVAH AND EVAH even if she does mock my ACK! ACK! ACK! (and I just typed Doe Smock there. That's even better than Doe Sin. That "does" word can really slew me loopy.) just gave me the Best Post idea I've had in oh, a couple of days (when did I blog last?).

She got that Red Friday e-mail spam.

You know, those "RAH RAH RAH Be An Armchair Activist" mass forward e-mails that incite you to do very little at all and somehow be a part of a mass effort that does very little at all but gives each Passive Activist a very warm fuzzy glow inside like they've been a Part of Something Big and Done Some Good In the World for a Change.

All without lifting their asses out of their computer chairs, or putting forth any effort at all.

Here's my secret truth: if it seems to good to be true, it usually is, or it's not meant for me at all.

This is the sad truth---mainly to my ass, which doesn't like getting out of its comfy computer chair to you know, work (which is mainly done in said chair) or Do Stuff or, most of all, exercise---that I must work to get results.

My relief work for the hurricane was...back-breaking. Helping the children in the schools meant going there. The hospital work was...gut-wrenching. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society work is time-consuming and heart-breaking. All my "good deeds and charitable work" seems to require time and effort---or money---and most of all, my ass to get out of my chair. In short, much more than simply getting dressed in the morning.

And that's my main problem with these Calls to Passive Activists: I think it creates a Useless Tunnel for people to channel their motivation to Do Something Good into Not Very Much At All.

What if you feel the strong urge to do something to help and get this chance:

RED FRIDAYS ----- Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority". We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record-breaking numbers.

We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.
Many Americans, like you, all our friends, and me simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that. Every red -blooded American who supports our men and women afar will wear something red.
By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If everyone of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family. It will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers. Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity,by example; and wear something red every Friday




So you wear red and VOILA! get the feeling of doing good without really actually doing anything at all. Not any thign really helpful, anyway.

Or...those petitions. You know, the "go nowhere except spin around in cyberspace endelssly pinging against all the same e-mail boxes over and over like a manic tennis match that never ends SIGN ME with nothing more than your name and I promise SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN" like that Angel show will come back on TV and the teen pregnancy rate will drop because we'll implement prayer in school.

Seriously, I look at those lists of names and I think, "What a bunch of eye-rolling eejits."


Those things never land where they should or could. And if they did happen to, they aren't Proper Petitions that would effect any real change. (Usually, I must admit, I am glad they are useles since I am rarely behind the movement in a supportive way---although I am frequently glad to be behind it in an ankle-clipping way---if it is, in fact, a real issue and not some trumped up kidnapped-via-smelling-perfume-samples urban legend.)

So when my friend Halushki asked what I would do were I to get such an e-mail (and trust me, I get them regularly), I said:

"Look you, you too can do GOOD with NO EFFORT FROM YOU whatsoever! Simply wear a red shirt on Friday and VOILA! You've done your country and our boys in blue/olive/white/khaki/etc. PROUD! GO US! We are the bestest armchair activists ever! We even sign every single petition that comes into our e-mail boxes! We do good and never even have to open our wallets or get off our asses."

Did I use enough ALL CAPS and exclamation points????!!!!!!

Not to mention, if I could care less then hitting the delete button would be an odd response.

I'd definitely roll my eyes. Then I'd save it for a week as I went back and forth about delete versus send a "don't ever send this crap to me again" pithy yet scathing reply. Eventually my inbox would get a bit full and I'd go on a delete/cleaning out tear and it'd be trash.

But I'd definitely think less of the sender FOREVAH and EVAH AS LONG AS MY BLOOD RUNS RED!



So yeah, I'm being dramatic here and I don't think you are a loser (at least not that I'd say to your face) if you do this and send this along to everyone.

But next time you get one of these? And you feel like Doing Good? Call a real charity and volunteer, or open your wallet if you can and buy some body armor for an enlisted man. I'm sure that'd mean a heck of a lot more to him than say, you wearing red on a Friday.

Shameless plug for Snopes: Rumor has it, that is to say, a large portion of you completely wrapped around its twisted little finger.

By Julie Pippert
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Perfect! I'm sending that response (after I get good an drunk and don't give a fling.)

And regarding the ACK! ACK! ACK! know I can only goof with you because you're such a flawless writer. I read your work and immediately feel like I need a refresher on the rules of grammar. You're writing is so eloquent and elegant that I forget that you're also a woman who deals with toilet disasters and ACKing children.

BTW, I'm wearing red today to show my support for...uhm...darn, I forget. But it's something really, really important and everyone should wear red to support the cause.
(See? I said "you're" instead of "your".)
Julie Pippert said…
I thought the ACK ACK ACK thing you wrote was hilarious and I love that you goof with me.

I'm wearing olive green today in support of...ummm...olives.

Or, in that case, should I wear black? I far prefer kalamata, although the stuffed green ones are mighty tasty too.

What were we talking about?

I can make anything about food.

BTW, you keep complimenting me and I am going to start thinking I am better than you. ;)
Julie Pippert said…
Oh yeah and actually? I like Teresa's, "Isn't red a COMMIE color?" mockery response much better. ;)

Not that I have any trouble with communism. Hey dude, smile on your brother and all that. Peace out. :)
Bea said…
Thanks for linking me back over here. Good point.
Her Bad Mother said…
I can't believe that I'm only following this link NOW.

Am glad I did.

(And, will be adding the link to the Call to Action round up - and adding you to my blogroll!)

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