We're do it yourself-ers! We labored on Labor Day! Woo hoo go us! Now, can I slack off?
I didn't start this entry with "today I..." or "yesterday I..." or "wanna hear what I did this weekend?" because those opening salvos make me click "next blog" faster than a pig can snuffle a truffle.
But guess what!
That's what this entry is!
It's a play-by-blow list of What I Did This Weekend.
I'll try to make it more interesting--at least visually. Hey! It'll be better than watching primer dry. Trust me, I know.
I'd initially planned that the long weekend would be rest and recovery from the first week of school and all it entailed.
But then, we got the parts for the wooden four-drawer file cabinet on Friday and the entire tone of the weekend changed.
First, we had to build the actual file cabinet. I think there were 100+ pieces. We've built a lot of furniture in our time...and we both swear up and down this was the hardest one. Once the cabinet, four and a half hours later, was built, we had to unpack the boxes of files! Of course!
Whereupon I found out that geez louise my husband is a paper-a-holic. Seriously, somebody help our family. We need a twelve step program for pack ratting. Do you know...I'd---stunned disbelief aging my eternally dewy-faced visage---show him files packed past capacity with paper and this is how the first five conversations went:
Me: Ummm hon? What's this?
Me: Ummm uh huh. Paper for what purpose?
Me: Is the information germane...now? For you?
Me: I mean...do we really need to keep this or can I...(gesture to large black trash bag)
Him: I don't know...we might need it someday. There must be a good reason we've moved it back and forth across the country six times.
Toss it away.
Subsequent conversation were more efficient:
Me: Hon, what's this and are you using it today?
Me: OKAY! (toss it away)
My husband and children, if asked, would probably say the most haunting monster in their nightmares is Mom's Big Black Trashbag. When the Big Black Trashbag comes out...they run in fear, hiding important belongings along the way.
So we cleared out enough paper to rebuild all the trees we lost in the last hurricane.
The paper that made the cut (yee hee hee) was subsequently organized within an inch of its margins into file folder in the new file cabinet.
My husband, never patient when I pull a Monk, was really losing interest rapidly with my scintilating topics, such as:
Me: Would you file the savings account information with Bank Accounts, or with Joint Retirement?
Him: groaning...did you say we were fresh out of margarita fixings?
But you know what? He likes the results! The home office is now as tidy, clean and organized as it can be.
And with that accomplished, we were off. No slacking for us.
My husband said, let's tape the living room and paint! I put on my favorite orange painting apron, big white smile and nothing else and we painted!
It's currently edge-primed, waiting for spackle and roller priming. All this before we apply our lovely new Cottage White over the current Baby Shit Brown (BSB). The previous owners had...ummm...different tastes in colors than we have.
My husband said, let's strip more wallpaper!
Then my in-laws called and said, "Hey! We are still gutting our brand-new house. Want a chandelier?"
Thinking of the circa 1968 faux medieval candelabra abusing the air space in the middle of our dining room currently, we said, umm sure!
So we hung a new light fixture in the dining room.
Did I mention we prepped the upstairs hall for paintng too?
Did I mention we are painting the entire house?
Did I mention we decided to PLASTER the dining room and kitchen?
Did I mention I started pulling up carpet edges? With visions of Pergo or stained concrete dancing in my head?
I'll leave out the usual tidy, dishes, laundry, etc.
Tomorrow I call the construction people about tearing down the wall between the living room and kitchen.
We're crazy. Gotta be. That or very, very suscpetible to slogans like, "You can do it, we can help."
And to think it all started with a little bit of organization and tidying up for a new file cabinet...
Of course, you can't stop working just because the primer has to dry so we are happily occupying ourselves with a Very Important Project. Yesiree bob. Very important. Vewy impotant. Mush needed projhect.
By Julie Pippert
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