A Great Love Story: The Young and the Chemical

Driving home from school with my girls is what I think of Quality Catchup Time but they probably think of (or will soon) as Suffer the Mom Inquisition. The latter title comes from an inside family joke about Suffer the Mom Love, which is when I give hugs to children and pets because they want and need them even as they pretend they don't. Trust me, I can tell the difference and respect a sincere no but give a smiling "Oh Moooooooommmmm" a good squeeze.

While in the van, I ask each girl very specific questions so as to avoid potential monosyllabic responses.

My younger daughter has been trying out her storytelling skills and we've been working on the "that's a great story, what a neat imagination" distinction from "that really happened, how interesting."

Sometimes it's hard to tell. Such as in the telling of the story/report from the other day:

Daughter: Today I have a romantic tale! *giggles*

Me: A...romantic tale?

Daughter: Yes! *giggles*

Me: All righty then, let's hear it!

Daughter: At recess Jane* and Jim* had to sit on the bench!

Me: And that's romantic how? Because it's a boy and girl on the bench together? (Wondering if I need to define romance.) (Wondering where she picked up the word.) (Was it home? Valentine's Day? Elsewhere?)

Daughter: Moooooomm, no it's because they were kissing!

Me: They were kissing on the bench?

Daughter: NO! They were on the bench because they were kissing.

Me: Maybe you should start from the beginning. Set the scene, where were you, who was there, what were you all doing, and then what happened...

Daughter: We were playing family outside (names cast of characters and roles) and then Jane said to Jim that they could be the mommy and daddy because they were in love.

Me: Wow, really? She said that? They're in love? How long has this been going on?

Daughter: A long time! All week!

Me: That long! I wonder what the one week anniversary gift is!

Daughter: What? Mom, are you talking to the wall again? (This is what they say when I sotto voce.)

Me: No no just saying go on...

Daughter: And then Jane said they should go to a romantic spot and kiss. So they did.

Me: What? Wait, really? Jane said "go to a romantic spot" just like that?

Daughter: Yes she did!

Older daughter: Oh GAH your class is crazy. What is with all the kissing and romance?

Daughter: We aren't crazy, we're chemical.

Me: Chemistry, baby, you have good chemistry.

Older daughter: Whatever they have I hope it's not catching! What if the whole school went that crazy.

Me: I think you're safe, sweetie. So listen, Jane said go to a romantic spot and then what happened, no, wait, what is a romantic spot?

Older daughter: Mom, you don't know? It's a spot. That's romantic.

Me: Right, I get that, thanks. I meant, what, specifically, is a romantic spot there, like where did they go?

Daughter: To the pirate ship.

Me (impressed): Wow, the pirate ship, that's definitely got romantic potential, pretty good thinking on Jane's part. So what did Jim think.

Daughter: Jim thought it was a pretty good idea and he grabbed her hand and they ran.

Me (choking laughter)

Daughter: Then they thought it was private and romantic so she kissed him and he kissed her but the teacher saw and she said "I have said and said no kissing so to the bench Jane and Jim!"

Me: So that's the end of that I guess.

Daughter: No, they were happy to be on the bench because they were together. Even though they couldn't play. Or kiss.

And I was touched, really, that was sort of sweet. Also, really really awesome because not my kids!

* Names have been changed.

Enough with the Mary Poppins Parenting, All Right?

Note: this post begins with "recently" but it was recent then not now. Then was around March 2012. At some point, someone for some reason reported this post and the platform pulled it down. However, the concept is evergreen so I am republishing it! ________________________________________________________________________________ Recently on Facebook, a friend disgustedly posted another "how French parents are better" article (this one cruelly about how French kids have less ADHD and it's because the French parents are BETTER -- or so it read to a lot of parents dealing with this situation in their own families, and boy do I understand that POV). She was appalled, we were all mainly appalled. Though there was a slight thread of "maybe there's a point here...how can we have so much more?" running through it. Feeling insecure about your parenting is pretty de rigeur for parents, I think. We are raising a person who will go out into the world, rep...

'Whatever' is not an actual salary and it really doesn't buy the groceries, either

Teaching my girls how to pull the rope for themselves. It was a pretty innocuous mother's club meeting, and we were talking about babysitters. I don't even recall why it came up, the talk about babysitters. Conversation unrolls so organically in these meetings, these times we get together, without children, and get to just talk. But sitters came up in conversation and the turn of that conversation surprised me. Greatly. Apparently around here it's bad manners to quote an hourly rate for one's babysitting services. "You know what gets me?" a mom said, "You know what sitters I prefer? Who I pay the most to? The ones who say 'oh just pay me whatever.'" She went on to explain that (and this is my paraphrase not her exact statement) to her, it came across as very forward, rude even, when these sitters said they charged X dollars per hour. My mind rolled that concept around for a minute: it's cheeky and rude to state upfront how much you charg...

Restaurant Trauma in Texas: How eating out prompted a really uncomfortable lesson about culture

WARNING: This is NOT a family-friendly post, aka the warning I WISH I'd gotten yesterday before I walked in. Yesterday was a Holiday. I hope you heard the scare quotes around that. Yeah, when you are an adult here is how holidays work: you, same workload as always, kids WOO HOO NO SCHOOL FREEDOM. Do the equation. The result is the day I had yesterday. If math isn't your strong suit I'm pretty sure you can still add that up but just in case let's say the highlight of the afternoon included me dumping out the mismatched sock basket and telling the children to have at it, in a way very reminiscent of Miss Hannigan of Annie . Anyway luckily I've taught my kids that Chores are Fun! and they had a good time. Later, I cranked up the fun-o-meter on a bank errand by dropping in the Halloween store to check out costumes, and upped the ante on "Mom needs new running shoes" by tacking on a "Hey let's eat out at a restaurant!" My husband was able to join ...

Julie Pippert: Using My Words

Search This Blog