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A Thousand Pardons (for my absence) (and the potential massacre of 5 languages)

I must whine about my health in order to excuse my absence. Do you require a doctor's note?

At any rate, since when we ask, "How are you?" it's largely rhetorical, I happen to know people are generally not interested in the TMI specifics about health woes. So let me simply say I have the croup. I know, at my age. It's ridiculous.

Thank goodness I can type because I have no voice.

So...to mix it up a bit...allow me to attempt to say this in several languages, calling upon my long-ago high school French, crappy college semesters of Russian and Japanese, and suburban distance urban talk. And google. Sheesh.

AHEM!

English:

My friends, I am sick. I have croup, sick in the throat. It's too bad, but so it goes. It means that, after a dedonculously busy day, I am going to sleep early. It means, worse, that I haven't been by your blogs to read all of your submissions.

Tomorrow.

The sun, and hopefully I, will come up tomorrow.

Thanks for understanding...

Julie

Franglais:

Mes amis, je suis malade. J'ai croupe, malade de la gorge. C'est trop mauvais, mais il va. Cela signifie que, dedonculously après une journée bien remplie, je vais dormir tôt. Cela signifie, pire, que je n'ai pas eu de vos blogs de lire toutes vos communications.

Demain.

Le soleil, et je l'espère, viendra demain.

Merci de votre compréhension ...

Julie

Russian:

Мои друзья, я болен. Я croup, больные в горле. Это очень плохо, но он идет. Это означает, что после dedonculously занят день, я собираюсь спать рано. Это означает, что еще хуже, о том, что я не был на блоги читать все ваши материалы.

Завтра.

Солнце, и я надеюсь, придет завтра.

Спасибо за понимание ...

Джули

Japanese (and thank goodness this is typed and not my handwriting, which my professor assured me was so abysmal as to be highly insulting in the actual country of Japan) (funny, my grade school language arts teachers said the exact same thing, in English!):


私の友人は、私が悪いんです。クループ私は、病気で、のどのです。それはお気の毒だが、今のものだ。ことを意味し、 dedonculously忙しい一日の後で、私は早く寝てるつもりです。ことを意味する、悪化すると、私はされていないとされ、自分のブログを読んで、すべての出品です。

明日です。

太陽、そして願わくは私は、明日が出てくるからだ。

理解してくれてありがとう...

ジュリー

Out of respect for my whereabouts, Espanol:

Mis amigos, estoy enfermo. He crup, de enfermedad en la garganta. Es demasiado malo, pero lo que pasa. Esto significa que, después de un día ocupado dedonculously, me voy a dormir temprano. Es decir, lo que es peor, que no he sido, con sus blogs para leer la totalidad de sus envíos.

Mañana.

El sol, y es de esperar que, vendrá hasta mañana.

Gracias por la comprensión ...

Julio Down By the Schoolyard

Bad TV Urban:


My friends, i am sick . know what im sayin?. i hizzy croup, sizzay in tha throat . Its just anotha homocide. its too bizzle but so it goes . Put ya mutha f%ck!n choppers up if ya feel this.. it means thizzay afta a dedonculously bizzle day, i am gonna sleep early. it means, worse, thizzay i aint been by yo blogs ta read all of yo submissions.

tomorrow.

the siznun, n hopefully i, will come up tomorrizzles fo` understand'n...

julie aka j master oooh

I remain steadfastly impressed that the word 'dedoculous' is understood in every language.

Comments

Liv said…
you fergot yer southernly. it's gwine be alright tho. jest tell yer mommandems i sed how u durrin. k?
Kyla said…
Feel better. I only speak one language. Well, I understood what you wrote in Spanish, I just don't speak it so well. LOL.
Unknown said…
croup? croup? my eight year old gets it and the pediatrician shakes his head in disbelief!! You need spongia tosta, girlfriend. It's a homeopathic remedy and very effective - though when we haven't caught it in time we use pediapred as you know from my post in which Theo hits the grocery bagger (and I hang my head in shame).
Feel better!!
Anonymous said…
Sick and still made me laugh my head silly.
thailandchani said…
Croup? Wow. No kidding!

Hope you feel better soon! That sounds awful!
Robert said…
In the words of some TV character or another, "Don't ever do that again."

Just kidding, of course. Hope you feel better.
crazymumma said…
Hope you are better soon...
Lawyer Mama said…
Dude, I had to look dedoculous up.

Hope you're feeling better soon. I understand. I'm currently on my second round of antibiotics for an ear infection. Yep. Me and the 13 month olds.
Sukhaloka said…
What is it with wanting to crack jokes the most when the voice is out of shape? :D
Take care, get well soon.
Sukhaloka said…
btw. The Baby is in the same state here in Kolkata, and it is Valentine's Day. ARGH. We may not be big on the celebrations, but you know... it's quite bad when we can't even make fun of it in peace :P
Anonymous said…
I hope you feel better, soon.
le35 said…
Funny. I laughed so hard that I read it out loud. :)
Suz said…
Sick, but eloquent nevertheless! I was just happy that I could still read the French!
SciFi Dad said…
That was cute. (And, your French is still pretty good, for an American.)
Gwen said…
Sounds unpleasant, in every language. Hope you got some good rest and are better soon.
Anonymous said…
Yo sistah! I hope yiz feelz bettah soon. I got ma voice back, but da kidz ah still coughin, so I get to yell Cover yo mouth!

(Not very good at urban Boston LOLCat language)
Julie Pippert said…
Merci beaucoup and muchas gracias and YO! Props!

Croup is rare in adults. It's not quite laryngitis (though I have no voice) and not quite bronchitis (although my chest is tight and I have unproductive barking coughs in little spurts) but it's not quite like the croup in my kids, either.

My susceptibility is probably another autoimmune side-benefit. WOOT WOOT!!!
thordora said…
You need some chiac in there. :)
niobe said…
You are far too clever. Even when you're croup-stricken.
MARY G said…
Quelle domage! S’il vous plaît accepter mes meilleurs voeux de prompt rétablissement.
Dedoniculous est, peut-etre, 'affreux'?
Embrassements!
Aliki2006 said…
Wow--all those languages!

Feel better soon!

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