Skip to main content

A Thousand Pardons (for my absence) (and the potential massacre of 5 languages)

I must whine about my health in order to excuse my absence. Do you require a doctor's note?

At any rate, since when we ask, "How are you?" it's largely rhetorical, I happen to know people are generally not interested in the TMI specifics about health woes. So let me simply say I have the croup. I know, at my age. It's ridiculous.

Thank goodness I can type because I have no voice. mix it up a bit...allow me to attempt to say this in several languages, calling upon my long-ago high school French, crappy college semesters of Russian and Japanese, and suburban distance urban talk. And google. Sheesh.



My friends, I am sick. I have croup, sick in the throat. It's too bad, but so it goes. It means that, after a dedonculously busy day, I am going to sleep early. It means, worse, that I haven't been by your blogs to read all of your submissions.


The sun, and hopefully I, will come up tomorrow.

Thanks for understanding...



Mes amis, je suis malade. J'ai croupe, malade de la gorge. C'est trop mauvais, mais il va. Cela signifie que, dedonculously après une journée bien remplie, je vais dormir tôt. Cela signifie, pire, que je n'ai pas eu de vos blogs de lire toutes vos communications.


Le soleil, et je l'espère, viendra demain.

Merci de votre compréhension ...



Мои друзья, я болен. Я croup, больные в горле. Это очень плохо, но он идет. Это означает, что после dedonculously занят день, я собираюсь спать рано. Это означает, что еще хуже, о том, что я не был на блоги читать все ваши материалы.


Солнце, и я надеюсь, придет завтра.

Спасибо за понимание ...


Japanese (and thank goodness this is typed and not my handwriting, which my professor assured me was so abysmal as to be highly insulting in the actual country of Japan) (funny, my grade school language arts teachers said the exact same thing, in English!):

私の友人は、私が悪いんです。クループ私は、病気で、のどのです。それはお気の毒だが、今のものだ。ことを意味し、 dedonculously忙しい一日の後で、私は早く寝てるつもりです。ことを意味する、悪化すると、私はされていないとされ、自分のブログを読んで、すべての出品です。





Out of respect for my whereabouts, Espanol:

Mis amigos, estoy enfermo. He crup, de enfermedad en la garganta. Es demasiado malo, pero lo que pasa. Esto significa que, después de un día ocupado dedonculously, me voy a dormir temprano. Es decir, lo que es peor, que no he sido, con sus blogs para leer la totalidad de sus envíos.


El sol, y es de esperar que, vendrá hasta mañana.

Gracias por la comprensión ...

Julio Down By the Schoolyard

Bad TV Urban:

My friends, i am sick . know what im sayin?. i hizzy croup, sizzay in tha throat . Its just anotha homocide. its too bizzle but so it goes . Put ya mutha f%ck!n choppers up if ya feel this.. it means thizzay afta a dedonculously bizzle day, i am gonna sleep early. it means, worse, thizzay i aint been by yo blogs ta read all of yo submissions.


the siznun, n hopefully i, will come up tomorrizzles fo` understand'n...

julie aka j master oooh

I remain steadfastly impressed that the word 'dedoculous' is understood in every language.


Liv said…
you fergot yer southernly. it's gwine be alright tho. jest tell yer mommandems i sed how u durrin. k?
Kyla said…
Feel better. I only speak one language. Well, I understood what you wrote in Spanish, I just don't speak it so well. LOL.
Unknown said…
croup? croup? my eight year old gets it and the pediatrician shakes his head in disbelief!! You need spongia tosta, girlfriend. It's a homeopathic remedy and very effective - though when we haven't caught it in time we use pediapred as you know from my post in which Theo hits the grocery bagger (and I hang my head in shame).
Feel better!!
Anonymous said…
Sick and still made me laugh my head silly.
thailandchani said…
Croup? Wow. No kidding!

Hope you feel better soon! That sounds awful!
Robert said…
In the words of some TV character or another, "Don't ever do that again."

Just kidding, of course. Hope you feel better.
crazymumma said…
Hope you are better soon...
Lawyer Mama said…
Dude, I had to look dedoculous up.

Hope you're feeling better soon. I understand. I'm currently on my second round of antibiotics for an ear infection. Yep. Me and the 13 month olds.
Sukhaloka said…
What is it with wanting to crack jokes the most when the voice is out of shape? :D
Take care, get well soon.
Sukhaloka said…
btw. The Baby is in the same state here in Kolkata, and it is Valentine's Day. ARGH. We may not be big on the celebrations, but you know... it's quite bad when we can't even make fun of it in peace :P
Anonymous said…
I hope you feel better, soon.
le35 said…
Funny. I laughed so hard that I read it out loud. :)
Suz said…
Sick, but eloquent nevertheless! I was just happy that I could still read the French!
SciFi Dad said…
That was cute. (And, your French is still pretty good, for an American.)
Gwen said…
Sounds unpleasant, in every language. Hope you got some good rest and are better soon.
Anonymous said…
Yo sistah! I hope yiz feelz bettah soon. I got ma voice back, but da kidz ah still coughin, so I get to yell Cover yo mouth!

(Not very good at urban Boston LOLCat language)
Julie Pippert said…
Merci beaucoup and muchas gracias and YO! Props!

Croup is rare in adults. It's not quite laryngitis (though I have no voice) and not quite bronchitis (although my chest is tight and I have unproductive barking coughs in little spurts) but it's not quite like the croup in my kids, either.

My susceptibility is probably another autoimmune side-benefit. WOOT WOOT!!!
thordora said…
You need some chiac in there. :)
niobe said…
You are far too clever. Even when you're croup-stricken.
MARY G said…
Quelle domage! S’il vous plaît accepter mes meilleurs voeux de prompt rétablissement.
Dedoniculous est, peut-etre, 'affreux'?
Aliki2006 said…
Wow--all those languages!

Feel better soon!

Popular posts from this blog

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Quorum

After being confronted with written evidence, Julie admits that she is a total attention whore. In some things, in some ways, sometimes I look outward for validation of my worth and existence. I admit it. It's my weak spot, my vanity spot . If you say I am clever, comment on a post, offer me an award, mention me on your blog, reply to a comment I left on your blog, or in any way flatter me as a writer...I am hopelessly, slavishly devoted to you. I will probably even add you to my blogroll just so everyone can see the list of all the cool kids who actually like me . The girl, she knows she is vain in this regard , but after much vanity discussion and navel-gazing , she has decided to love herself anyway, as she is (ironically) and will keep searching for (1) internal validation and (2) her first person . Until I reach a better point of self-actualization, though, may I just say that this week you people have been better than prozac and chocolate (together, with a side of whi

In defense of vanity...I think

Do you have one of those issues where you argue with yourself? Where you just aren't sure what you actually think because there are so many messages and opinions on the topic around you? I have more than one like this. However, there is one topic that has been struggling to the top of my mind recently: vanity and perceived vanity. Can vanity be a good thing? Vanity has historically been truly reviled. Vanity is number seven of the Seven Deadly Sins. It's the doppleganger of number seven on the Seven Holy Virtues list: humility. There are many moralistic tales of how vanity makes you evil and brings about a spectacular downfall. Consider the lady who bathed in the blood of virgins to maintain her youth. Google Borgia+vanity and find plenty. The Brothers Grimm and Disney got in on the act too. The Disney message seems to be: the truly beautiful don't need to be vain. They are just naturally eye-catchingly gorgeous. And they are all gorgeous. Show me the Reubenesque Pr

Is your name yours? How your name affects your success...

Made by Andrea Micheloni Not too long ago I read What's in a name? by Veronica Mitchell. She'd read the NPR/USA Today article, Blame it on your name , that shared new research results: "a preference for our own names and initials — the 'name-letter effect' — can have some negative consequences." Veronica's post and that article got me thinking about names, and their importance. Changing to my husband’s name and shedding my maiden name was no love lost for me. By the time we married, I’d have gladly married any other name just for a change. My maiden name was a trial; I was sick of spelling it, pronouncing it, explaining it, and dealing with the thoughtless rude comments about it. My sister and I dreamed and planned for the day we could shed that name. So I wonder, sometimes, whether I adequately considered what a name change would actually mean. Heritage and genealogy matter to me and my maiden name reflected a great deal of familial history. Histo